Routine Has Happened

I was sitting her on the couch browsing the internet (yeah I know so healthy and all) and I realized something......I finally have routine with my healthy lifestyle!  I was telling a friend of mine how I always heard it takes 30 days to make something a habit.  That is a load of BS! 

I can't tell you how many times I attempted to turn my life around.  I would stick with things for MONTHS and go right back to where I started.  I don't know what the difference is now compared to then, but it just feels right!

It feels weird if I don't work out during the week (especially my PT sessions).  If I don't eat well, by body tells me so!  Like seriously, it makes me miserable....absolutely miserable!  My body craves exercise!  It's like a drug!  A huge antidepressant drug!  I am more positive and my body is happy!

I cried today at my Personal Training (PT) today.  I felt so stupid but I cried!  I was doing a circuit and part of it was a "chin up" move where I squatted to the floor and used my arms to pull up and down.  Immediately I started crying.  My trainer seriously thought I was hurt and that something was terribly wrong with me.  All I could say was "I never would have thought I'd be able to do something like this before".  All he said was "Well, you're doing it now!".  Damn right Tommy!  Damn right!

My trainer is amazing.  (that's my sweaty PT selfie) Super patient but very firm and motivating.  Pushes me to the point that my body can take the work out but, as he said today, "I don't push you to the point that you can't even sit down on the toilet".  SO TRUE!  When I was at Fitness 19 my trainer (let's call him Bob) would work me out so hard that I literally couldn't sit down on the toilet without something to support me!  He knew I had a knee issue and was worried about building up the strength in my thighs and around my knees.  I'd be out of commission for DAYS!

I am sore with my new trainer, but it is a good sore.  A reminder of what muscles I used for my workout and that I am slimming and trimming that fat away!  A reminder of the old me becoming the new me!  RAWR!!  LoL

Ok, so I love my PT days and they make me happy and healthy like my healthy eating!  YAY!  When I miss either of those things, my world comes crashing down and all is lost and gone forever ;)

As a side note, I have signed up for a 5k race every month until October!  I am so happy and so excited because my husband has decided to run with me!  He wants to get into it too!  I am so excited to share this part of my life with him!

Off to bed I go my friends!  Thanks for reading and share this with your friends!  Maybe I can guide someone to a healthier lifestyle too!

~ <3 ~
Me

My First 10k!

It is official!  The Rite Aid Cleveland Marathon; Half Marathon; 10k!  Today was my day to add another milestone into my journey.  I'll tell you something....I almost didn't even go.  My anxiety got SO bad yesterday that I really almost decided it would be worse dealing with my anxiety than running at all.  BOY was I glad I stuck it out.

I followed my friend Kelly there and we got there and it was FREEZING!!!  Super windy and freaking cold!  We hopped and stepped around trying to keep our bodies warm as best we could.  The national anthem was sung (by an amazing woman who obviously was a country singer) and off we went.  It took probably 10-15 minutes for us to finally hit that starting line.

Once I hit the line, I was off (and obviously started the timer on my Garmin GPS watch).  Kelly and I had agreed that if one of us fell behind to just keep going and we would meet at the finish line.  At one point I lost her as she weaved through the people and then I was on my own.  Music blaring and feet jogging along the streets of Cleveland.

I kept looking at my wrist seeing how far I had been running and see that 1 mile come up.  "WOW that was fast!"  I was keeping an 11:16 mile and I was happy with that.  Next I hit the 2 mile 11:39 "Ok, pace yourself but speed up a little".  I hit the 3 mile and realize "HOLY CRAP I just ran 3 miles in under 35 minutes!"  It was my best time yet!  The fastest I had ever gone was 35:15 I believe last year.  I hit 4.5 miles and say "Wow I am practically done!" and then 5 miles hits.

As we came back we went over a bridge but most of the way was uphill.  I can't tell you how many times I talked myself out of walking.  I figured I would just slow it down a bit to catch my breath and then pick it all back up again.  I hit 6 and thought "Where the hell is the finish line!?"  That kind of threw me off because Garmin said I went 6.3 miles, but I kept going!


 SO, here comes the finish line...I even feel myself slow up a little bit.  Then BAM!  I run so fast I feel like my legs will fall off or I may puke and I pass up others just to get to that finish line!

Here is my official time from the chip on my racing bib.  I have to say I did better than I thought I would!  When running at home I did 1:27 and that included me walking a bit up some pretty steep hills.  I couldn't be more happy with the time.  In all honesty, I am just glad I never stopped to walk!

As I was going through my info on Map My Fitness and looked at the break down of my miles, at some points it says I was doing like a 9 minute mile (must have been those downhill moments while I caught my breath).  Either way I couldn't believe I had done it and that I had made it!

I finished strong, grabbed a water, grabbed my banana and sat down in the grass to stretch it out!  I met back up with Kelly (who did amazing btw beating me with her time!) and we just sat and of course took our post race SELFIIIIIEEEEE!!!

Why can I never just smile....I have to make these ridiculous freaky faces.  Anywho, We walked back to the cars and I got in and headed home.  I was so thankful she was there to help me with my anxiety.  I told her she probably thinks I am a psychopath....but she ran with me anyways ;)

I was able to run into some family and friends at the race and everyone did amazing!!  I was glad I completed my goal of fully running a 10k.  No stopping, 6.2 (Garmin said 6.3) miles, showing the world what one can accomplish when we are determined and when we put our mind (and body) to the test!

So, thank you Kelly for not weirding out on me and being an amazing friend!  Hey remember when we used to play soccer together on our co-ed team!?  Life brings you back together for a reason and YOU my friend really helped me today!

I am so blessed and thankful and proud of myself for what I was able to do.  Again showing others what can be done when you want to change your life into a healthy and active one!

This will be the longest I ever would want to run, so no, I am not going to train for a half marathon or full marathon.....I am totally ok with my 10k!  Maybe one day I will change my mind, but for now I am all good ;)  Thanks for reading and have an amazing weekend everyone!  I am relaxing and then will be celebrating my birthday with my in-laws today.  Keeping it low key before I hit the big 32 tomorrow!  EEP!

~ <3 ~
Me

My 1 Year Journey Through Photos

I figured I would post my journey through photography so you can all see what I have tried to accomplish in 12 months!  I hit my lowest weight of 174 lbs in September.  I gained 6 lbs over Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I was with a trainer at Fitness 19 for over a month but wasn't really seeing any results.  I switched to Tommy Salvatore at YDM Fitness in April and in just a short period of time I have gained 10 lbs since my lowest weight, but I noticed going through my photos today that I am really starting to slim down quite a bit.

It was a hard decision to post these personal photos of myself, but people needed to see what can be accomplished!!

November 2011 - 200 ++ lbs

May 2013 - 203 lbs

June 2013

July 2013

August 2013

September 2013 - 174 lbs

May 2014 - 183 lbs

Side By Side Comparison!

The sports bra I am wearing is the SAME in both pictures, so you can see the difference!  I am still shocked!

~ <3 ~
Me

One Year Ago

One year ago a family friend helped change my life forever.  I no longer wanted to be THAT person.  I wanted to live life and enjoy it.  I wanted to get off my lazy ass and be with my family.  I wanted the energy so that when my kids wanted to run around and play I didn't say "Mommy is tired" or "Mommy doesn't feel good".  Seeing the disappointment in their faces and hearing their sighs......that is something I never want to go back to.

In my journey I have had my ups and downs....My weight has still fluctuated and even after the holidays I haven't gotten back into that groove.  I am working on it but just haven't gotten there yet.  The way the old me felt....I don't wish that on anyone....EVER!  No one should ever go through life feeling the way I did.

I felt like I didn't matter.  I felt like I wasn't a priority and that I wasn't important.  I felt worthless.  I felt ugly.  I felt fat.  I was itching in the skin I was wearing and somewhere deep down in me I still had a voice telling me I could do it if I wanted to.  There isn't a moment that goes by that I don't FEAR going back to that old "Me".  I am petrified.  I have seen friends and family struggle....do well and go back.  Maintaining is what I fear.  It is my own fault for not sticking with my healthy eating.  These feelings of self loathing weren't caused by anyone other than my inner feelings about myself...but as my health got better, so did my attitude.

It isn't just about me now though.  I need to get my family healthy.  This yearly journey I have lost 24 lbs and as of today have only lost under 20 total.  I have been changing things up and started seeing an amazing trainer who has really been pushing me and giving me different things to try fitness wise.  I notice I am slimming down so I am praying it's muscle I am building.  STILL my eating needs reigned in a bit.

I have learned so much in a year and have made such amazing life long friends and connections as well as growing closer with those around me.

To my Mom and Dad....thank you!  Your motivation means the world to me and your support has been incredible.  All of your advice Mom has been so amazing and I am so blessed to have you in my life....FOREVER ;)

To my husband Ryan....you have allowed me to take time for ME and focus on ME.  I love you so much and it grows stronger everyday.  You truly are my rock and support and I wouldn't be able to do this without you backing me up 100% (even if you do ice cream runs sometimes) You have motivated me and even when I was at my lowest you always made me feel beautiful and loved.  You truly are my soul mate and you are stuck with me babe <3

To my children....your existence has motivated me to become a healthier Mommy so that I can be here and stay strong through whatever life throws at me.  I want to be there through your milestones and see your children grow one day.  You are the reason Mommy changed....to be around....to be your Mommy!

To Yurisa...Our friendship has pulled me through some dark times and motivated me through the bright times.  You have helped me gain confidence in other ways to help me in my journey.  Your shoulder to cry on and your ears for listening have saved me more than you know.  I am so blessed that you are a part of my life even though I wish it would have been sooner than it was.  You are an amazing and strong woman and your friendship to me words cannot describe how much it means to me.  BFBFL <3

To Eva....having your friendship and support has been priceless!  You keep me in line and motivate me with your own journey.  No matter what the future holds I do hope that our friendship stays true and strong.  Thank you for everything.

To Sarah....Your recommendation of couch to 5k is what got me going and all of your fitness and food support has been amazing.  Thank you for taking the time to spend guiding me and helping me through this journey.  I feel like I harass you so much but you are so kind and thoughtful and amazing.  You were with me the first time I ran 3.1 miles at home and I will never forget it!

To my trainer Tommy....Not that you will read this...maybe you will.  I know our time together has been short, but your confidence in me and the ability to know how I function has been so helpful...here is to many more weeks of training and changes!

To my barefoot shuffling friend, Karen....I know you are always there for me to get me off my butt and out on the road!  Thanks for keeping me motivated!

To Joyce....You truly helped me realize that this was what I needed to do.  I am so thankful!  Because of what happened, you truly saved my life!  I am forever grateful and blessed that you helped me realize what I was doing to myself and helped me start my journey.

I know I am forgetting people.....to all of my friends to read this or share it or just listen to me vent...thank you!  When I hear someone say "You motivated me" I still can't believe I could do that for someone but I am so blessed that I am able to help others through my journey as others have helped me.

Happy 1 year of a changed lifestyle and here is to at least 40 more ;)

Milestones:
Lost 20lbs
Ran my first 5k 9/15/13 in 35:17
Ran my second 5k 10/13/13 in 35:13

Will be running my first 10k May 18th!!

 BEFORE     203 lbs

NOW   183 lbs

~ <3 ~
Me

Bi Polar Weather

So, It has been a month since my last post.  I just haven't been motivated to type.  I have been so busy worrying about trying to maintain weight and trying to lose more.  The holidays came and I hurt my knee and it just threw me right off the train!

I did hire a different trainer and I can see the inches coming off but the weight is maintaining....I can't look at the numbers as I am building all the new muscle!  Slow but steady right?  Other issue is my eating....why can't I stop eating!?  UGGGHHHHHH!

Ok, so the point of the title was the weather!  So it has been winter here....an awful and long winter.  FINALLY we have had a break the last few weeks.  Temperatures ranged from 40-80 degrees within a two week time period.  I have been running outside and LOVING it!

Proud to say that I did run my first 6.1 miles and it was tough!  I ran/walked in 1:27 which I didn't feel was too bad myself!  I did 5 miles the next week in 1:12 i believe.  I really was pretty happy with those results.  I try to alternate a long run with a shorter run the next day.

I did have an MRI on my knee and all came back negative.  With some rest and a $16 brace from target I have been pretty happy with that!  If I have a day where I know I am busy and on my feet alot, I will wear the brace and it has made such a difference!

Ok, that is all I can type for today....Almost 1 month until my 10k and I am still petrified.  Thanks for reading and sorry for not being so dedicated!

~ <3 ~
Me

The Journey To 10K

Wait....so......what is this running thing again?

So, I have been "working out" maybe two days a week....it has been enough to maintain only a 6lb weight gain.  I also have been eating like I was starving to death and haven't seen or tasted food in years.  Whatever....it's been bad and that is that.

I have kept up with my once a week karate group class that my Dad teaches, and then maybe one day after work of running?  That part only started recently.  So, i decided that last week was THE week!  I have a 10k in May my friends and that scares the CRAP out of me!

So, I got my 5k-10k App ready ( Download Here ).  I really do miss my Zombie trainer though....I had him with their Couch to 5k App.  I would be laughing out loud while I was running.  It broke some stresses when I almost gave up and it kept me moving.  Off topic, however I recommend that app to EVERYONE!

I started on Friday and did day 1.  The way I function though it put me off for a week.  The app/program itself actually trains you three days a week.

 
So ideally when we don't have THIS weather.....I can run in the evenings and keep with that schedule!

ANYWHO!  I can't stop babbling in circles today!  Back on track here.

Ok, so THIS week I did my Week 1 Day 2 on Wednesday morning...which was really a bad idea because I then had a 770 calorie burn at karate group class.  I not only was a bit sore at my class.  I was also sore in the AM!  Feel the burn right!?

So Thursday morning is a strength training day and it has been kicking my butt!  However I do notice my upper body strength improving so I can't complain.  My Thursday mornings are brought to me courtesy of Jay.  He is a personal trainer at my gym.  He is young with a young family.  AGAIN off topic LoL  He has been working on strengthening my hips and thighs because I have been having some knee pressure while running.  It's been really great!

I went today at 7am and did week 1 day 3!  My knee started to get that air bubble feeling again that hit me in November.  UGGGHHHH!  I did realize that my running shoes are almost a year old and have been used 3 times a week.  I can't NOT do this!

I called Second Sole and talked to Doug?  He always answers the phone.  He looked up my records and said "WOW!  Yeah bring the shoes in and I will check the wear, but you may need some new shoes".  Now, these shoes are SUPER expensive, but they made my feet so happy!  So I am going on Sunday during the kids nap time to hang with Doug and my running shoes...maybe we will bury them and find my back up pair.

I just re-read through what I have typed so far....this has nothing to do with my title...such a jumbled mess!  What is wrong with me today!  FULL MOON!!!!

Ok so I started my 5k-10k App and have completed week 1....there are 8 weeks more and then my 10k in May.  BAM there ya go :)  If you have managed to stick through all of that and get to this end BLESS YOU MY FRIENDS!!!  I apologize for rambling on and posting such a confusing mush of typing.  I will keep you posted on my training and let you know how it goes!

~ <3 ~
Me

Seduced By Fitness

I told them that I wouldn't forget them.  I told them that "One day when the mood strikes....I WILL have my way with you".  Today....was....that....day....

It was a decent day.  The sun was shining and it was finally warmer than 38*F.  I got out of work; ran an errand; came home.  The whole way home, the sun was teasing me with it's warm caress.  The wind died down almost begging me to enjoy it. 

I couldn't see them at first, but when I got home I heard them calling my name.

I walked over and gently touched the laces....they giggled a bit.  I said "Today I am in the mood and I hope you are ready".  They were aroused at the thought of what we would do and where we would go.  I left them panting while I changed.  I got my coat on.  I put my ear warmers on (which I got for christmas and also double as headphones!  THANKS MOM AND DAD!!).  I slipped my coat on and got my GPS and music ready.

They were last.  They knew they would be.  I loosed the laces and slowly slipped into them.  It was a snug fit, but it felt amazing.  I tightened up the laces and took a quick walk around the house.  I missed that feeling.  I was awakened by it and felt my inner need to start what I had set out to do.


RUN!

Yeah, I am the next E.L. James right???  BAHAHAHAHAHA

So, off I went.  I was so nervous to run since I haven't gone since what, before Thanksgiving!?  So as I am running I almost talk myself out of it.  "It's too cold" "My feet feel funny" "My legs are already sore" "My arms feel awkward".  However, as quickly as I thought those things, they drifted away while I listened to my playlist, kept my head up, hands relaxed and started to run.

I hit the first mile and started to slow down.  I was used to running 3+ days a week and I haven't ran in 2 months!  I kept pushing and at one point I was running at 13:02 and got pissed.  I picked up the pace and made it back home at 2.10 miles.   I knew I had to start off slow, so I stopped and walked another mile.  I could have ran, but I knew not to push it.  I ran a mile at work Tuesday and was a little sore Wednesday.  I don't even want to know how I will feel tomorrow :)

So I came home, put my shoes away again.  I looked back and reassured them that I would be more

gentle next time, but they needed to be prepared to go a little longer.  It may be months before I run outside again, but it felt amazing and I FEEL AMAZING!  It was what I needed to get back into it!

Tomorrow is 30 Day Shred with Jillian Michaels and I KNOW she is going to work me hard ;)

~ <3 ~
Me

Holy Motivation

I passed go and ran my ass off today!  Holy shmoly did I run!  I ran an 11:30 mile and I ran four of them!  I walked the last mile with inclines.  It felt amazing!

I really want to try to run every day.  I want to start the Holiday Streak early!  That AAAAND I started a friendly competition with my fitness buddy at work.  I did the Jack Burns finger eyes and told her that the challenge is on and I was determined to  beat her in steps this week.

I hope I can do it!  She is a steps fiend!  I have high hopes.  I am actually really tired tonight!  I didn't have a lot of steps at work today but I sure had a lot after my run tonight.  I did feel bad because I told my husband I'd be home within the hour and I was gone an hour and a half LoL.  I love him so much for letting me do this.  It keeps me around longer for him and the kids.  Keeps me energetic....if you know what I mean ;)

Ok, I just had to share some success today.  Trying to keep motivated!  I really do need to start doing weights!  Someone help me!  Or train with me!  The buddy system works swimmingly and I would love a fitness buddy!  Who is coming with me!?

Oh, by the way, this was my Fitbit dashboard today!  I haven't seen this screen consistently in awhile :)

~ <3 ~
Me

Support Systems

It is motivational Tuesday for me!  I am trying to find some push to get my ass moving.

Today's topic I really wanted to post something about support systems.  I have said before that you won't make life changes until you are ready.  Until every aspect of your life is ready.  That includes a  strong and steady support system.

If you don't have a strong support system, the people around you can sabotage all efforts to improve your life.  All is takes is one negative nelly to ruin your efforts.  Especially in the beginning!  For me, I am still weak.  I have only been at this for 5 months and I am STILL weak!  It takes a brief second for me to cram a cookie in my mouth.  To have that extra scoop of pasta.  To eat that extra slice of bread.

I still have people say "Oh just have one", "If you have a little it won't matter".  What they don't realize is that ONE or that LITTLE bit can ruin me!  In a brief moment of weakness I can cave and THAT snowballs for the rest of my day!  I know not all people realize this, but when I say no.....I mean NO!  Stop offering me snacks KNOWING I can't have them.  Stop egging me on to eat that one tiny bite when you know I can't do it.

If your support system that surrounds you just can't accept the fact that you are changing your lifestyle and trying to improve your life.  You need to sit them down and put it all out there.  Tell them that you need their support and encouragement.  That when you don't eat a certain thing, or don't have that piece of cake; there is a reason!  If they choose to laugh or make light of your decisions....screw them!  They are selfish and you don't need to put up with their crap.  You also don't have the time!!

You need to surround yourself with people who when you decide to MAKE that change, will support you 100%!  When you go to grab that cookie or eat a piece of cake they will have no hesitation speaking up because you asked them to.  They will tell you "It's ok.  You can do it tomorrow".  They will congratulate you when you've done well and they will lift you up when you are feeling down.

I have many support systems.  My husband and kids, my parents (hearing them say how proud they are of me makes me want this even more), family, friends (all of my readers and friends who post supportive comments here and on Facebook).  I also have my online support system.  My My Fitness Pal friends are amazing!  When I have a bad day they help me see why and what NOT to do tomorrow.  My fellow co-workers for the most part are very understanding.  Every once and awhile people offer me food when I am not asking for it.  They will learn :) 

My one co-worker and I (I feel) have grown closer through our lifestyle changes together.  We compare our steps everyday.  We look at each others online food journals.  She really has been a motivator (she has lost a TON of weight) and such a support system for me!  Thanks Eva!  You have been wonderful!  Thank goodness I love my job so that I never leave.  We shall be healthy forever :)

So, thank you to MY support system.  You keep me going when I don't feel like I can, and you are always there through the "thick and thin" of my journey.  Love to you all and thank you!!!

~ <3 ~
Me

Another 5k On The Books

Well, I finished another 5k today!  My Mom ran with me today and MAN is she fast!!  I keep telling her she hustled me with her running time :)

I finished at my personal best of 35:15 (per them) and 35:13 per my Garmin GPS watch.  I had a hard time!  It was a very steep downhill run right off the bat and then the last 1.5 miles was mostly uphill!  I was exhausted, but it kept me going to see my Mom out there in front!

I didn't run Friday which actually put me in a funk the rest of the weekend with my eating!  I was feeling down about not running and I ate through my emotions. 

I felt great today!  I started out a little too fast and had to slow down and pace myself a little more.  I still went faster than my other 5k (obviously).  I got near the finish and my Dad came out to high five us.  I passed him and put it in high gear!  I sprinted to the finish to make sure I beat my time.  When i kicked into sprint mode I chuckled as I heard someone say "Oh my Gosh!"  I mean I was really flying!!

I loved that the race was so early in the morning!  I had the whole rest of the day to enjoy and be outside with our kids!  I guess I don't have much to type!  My brain is kind of empty right now!  OH!  I placed 9th in my division out of 16.  Kind of in the middle there :)  I placed 138 out of I think 212?  That made me happy!  Ok my friends.  Thank you for reading and have an amazing Sunday!!

~ <3 ~
Me

Feeling Like A Blowfish

This is how I am feeling today!  After a crazy busy weekend of fun and food, THIS is how I am left to feel.  We had a yummy spaghetti dinner last night with garlic bread.  The indigestion I had from it kept me up all night.  I woke up this morning feeling so sick!  I had to go in later to work today and knew I had time to go running and was DREADING it! 

However, I packed my stuff, took the kids to their sitter and headed to the gym super early in the morning.  I got to see the sun rise while I was running...kind of neat :)  So I start running and think to myself "2 miles is all I am going to be able to do....I feel like my stomach is going to explode upward or downward and I don't want to be in public when that happens."  You know what I did?  I took my "sweat towel" and draped it over the read out screen on the treadmill and just kept looking out the window.  I wipe my face and notice I have already gone a mile!  "What's one more"  I am there already right?  May as well make it worth it!  I look down again and see 2.5 miles.  "Well I guess I will go to 3.1...I am almost there."  I hit 3.0....feeling a little sick to my stomach I scream at myself "It's only one more mile you pansy!"  So I kept going.  I walked for maybe 1 minute and then when I hit 3.95 I slowed down to walk out the end of my run.

I felt great.  I still feel a little nauseous and have some stomach cramping, but it is AMAZING how something like food can wreck you like that!  One thing I have learned is that my body is used to how I have been eating.  Lots of protein, fruits, healthy snacks.  SO, when I do cheat or have a little too much of something I pay for it!  I don't like it!  When it's there I have no self control.  This weekend made me realize that. 

My biggest fear right now is the holidays coming up!  I need to start plotting my meals now!  We eat with two families usually each day.  I need to make sure I enter my food ahead of time on My Fitness Pal so that I don't stray.  When I plan it out, it makes it so much easier to stick with it!

I have my second 5k this coming Sunday.  My Mom is running it with me which I am so excited about!  She hasn't been feeling well and has been fighting this nasty cough, so she is hoping she will be able to run it with me!  I am nervous yet again.  I am more than sure there are some BIG hills I will be running on, but I am excited also!  I may get to meet one of my MFP (My Fitness Pal) friends there as she will be running as well!  After that 5k I will be done with them until the spring while I continue my running all winter long!

Well, thanks for reading!  I really have been slacking on writing, but things have been busy here!  Never a dull moment in the life of a Mommy right!?  Everyone have an AMAZING Monday!  Make your goals for the week and stick with them!  Anything is possible!

~ <3 ~
Me

Time to Check In

Oh yes my friends!  I am back!  I had a bit of a slump and today was my turning point!  I really beat through some anxiety today and I'm glad I did.  I packed my work out clothes and took them to work.  I figured if it was nice enough I would run outside in the neighborhoods around work.  If it was nasty out, I would get my ass to the gym.  Well the temperature was and is amazing, but it looked like a storm coming in.  I changed, got in my car and drove to the gym.

The parking lot was so busy.....fear #1: a lot of people staring and watching me look like an idiot.  I walked in and NO ONE!  It must have been all the men in the back on the weights.  I found myself a treadmill in front of a T.V that had ESPN on it....something neutral and entertaining to keep my interest, but I didn't have to think much :)  Fear #2: Oh crap what if I fall off this thing!?  (By the way....that didn't happen)

So I recently downloaded The 20/20 Experience 2 of 2.  I have been wanting to really listen to it and now was my chance.  I start blasting my JT and just RAN!  It took a lot not to look at the screen to see how far I've gone and how much time had gone by, but I did it!!

 So, off I went.  Running my butt off (or so I am hoping) :)  People come and go in the gym.  Cars drive by.  I watch the main road as the cars and trucks drive passed.  A Budweiser truck was stocking a bar....I would be lying if THAT didn't sound amazing while I was running :)  A group of buff dudes came in barely able to put their arms at their sides HaHaHa.  I kept it up!  Even when the twiggy girl started running right next to me....REALLY WOMAN!?  Of all the treadmills they have here you HAVE to pick the one next to me???  Ugghhhh!!!  Anywho,  I saw I was half way there at 2 miles and thought to myself "this was easy!  You can do more than this!"  So I put it in my mind that 4.0 miles was where I would stop today.  I got to about 3.8 and started to slow down.  At 3.9 I started a brisk cool down walk.  At 4.0 I stopped.  I couldn't believe it!  I was REVVED!  I got off the treadmill and went to collect my keys and out the door I went.

For my next gym visit, I do need to remember a towel next time.  My running tanks only help so much when I wipe my face off.....WHEW! I really do feel amazing!  When I am running I can get so much shit cleared out of my head!  I run through it all and when I am done my head feels better and I am so much less stressed.  I came home and stepped on the scale before I cleaned up and BAM!  Another pound lost!  My weight loss ticker is to the right down there ----->>>>>

I couldn't believe it!  I have been eating 1600 calories fairly regularly.  Not the best choices some days, but the one consistent thing is my protein intake.  I have been eating these AMAZING chiken pita sandwhiches with a sundried tomato hummus.  WOOOOOW.  They are incredible!  I love it!  I also have been eating a lot of low cal greek yogurt too.  I still am weak and don't know how to eat "properly" but I am trying.  I am hoping after a year I will have this food thing down and it won't be so hard to maintain and stick with.  I am sure it will always be an inner battle, but I hope it gets easier!

As a side note, this new JT album is kick ass.  Favorite tune hands down is "Drink You Away"  Amazing and a great beat to jog to!

Thanks for reading (those of you who do) and I am trying to keep up with this and track my progress!  Thanks to you all!  Enjoy the rest of the week my friends!

~ <3 ~
Me

Holy Weight Loss Batman!

I have done fairly well this week!  Just earlier in the week I documented a 2lb loss.  And yesterday I lost another pound!  I was ecstatic!  I felt like I really was moving and couldn't figure out why!  I looked back at my food logging and realized 2 things.

First, I wasn't eating very much sugar....which has really given me a bit of energy!  Second, I have been eating 1600 calories instead of the 1400 that I have my goal set to.  Now, I don't know if this is  the reason or a fluke or what the deal is, but I am kind of testing the waters.  At 1400 calories, I have never felt like I was starving or hungry.  But when I hit the 1600 calories I didn't have the urges to snack!  I will keep you posted on my new study.

Yesterday I started some shopping for two outfits for the weekend.  I got a cute sweater from a store called Maurices.  I also was able to buy a size 14 jean in my favorite Style & Co brand from Macy's!  I love their jeans because it helps with my "Mommy tummy".  So while I was there, I tried on some dresses!

First I couldn't believe that I was even fitting into a 12!  A SIZE 12!!!!  It was incredible!  This dress here was just a dress I HAD to try on.  It looked gorgeous on the rack and back in May I wouldn't have even considered trying this gorgeous thing on.

For the first time ever I thought "Daaaaaaaaaamn girl you looking good!"  Now I am sure there are people out there who wouldn't agree or who feel maybe I am not "small enough" to fit into a dress like this.  You know what?  Screw you!  I felt amazing :)

My plan is to get this dress for a wedding next year.  It will be my coming out dress and I will look and feel incredible!

My next gial is to REALLY get some weights in my regimen.  I am noticing my arms and legs and tummy just aren't catching up with the rest of my loss and I am noticing.  They are the last parts changing and it is frustrating, but I know it takes time.  I just don't want floppy arms after I lose my weight!

It's just a matter of getting it done.  I just don't know how to get started or what to do!  BLAH!  I just gotta do it!  Ok my friends!  I have a super busy weekend ahead with a lot of food coming my way, but I WILL keep up with it!

As a side note, my Wheat wrap, chicken, sundried tomato hummus sandwiches have been AMAZING!  All of the extra protein is helping to keep me feeling full so I don't devour everything in the cupboard!  Stay safe to all the other food addicts out there.....I know it's tough!!

~ <3 ~
Me

My First 5k!

That's me!!  That's me!!  Just coming up on the finish of my first ever 5k!  I was so nervous and frankly intimidated by the number of people there!  I signed up for this 5k months ago.  I finished my Couch to 5k app in July and have been waiting to do a 5k that doesn't involve just myself :)

It was SUCH an amazing experience!  A friend of ours was nice enough to bring me to the race and hang with me until he passed my slow ass HaHaHa .  We got there early and it was SO cold!  Thank goodness the sun came out.  It wasn't too warm and it wasn't so cold.  It really was perfect running weather!

So the race begins.....everyone is walking to the starting line.  We hit the starting line and BAM we start jogging.  I maintained 11:20-11:40/mi.  I got passed up, and I passed others.  But I kept with MY pace.  My music was blaring in my ears to keep me concentrating on my main goal.  NOT STOPPING!  I just wanted to jog the whole way and never stop to rest or catch my breath.  The last .50mi it was all uphill and I remember reading about the best way to run up hill and I kept pushing.  People were stopping at the water stops but I kept going....it was only 3mi and I never have water at home until I get home.  So off I went!

I started seeing people slowing down, starting to walk.  I refused!  I HAD to keep going!  As I make my way up that last hill my inner demon starts on me "Oh man that was hard, you should slow it down".  I bitch slapped her and pushed myself even harder!  When I heard a man say "Only about 100 yards left everyone!  Keep it up you are doing great" I kicked my ass into gear and got moving!  As I started entering the center of the town the first person I saw was my Mom in her bright blue shirt.  I was so excited and hence my thumbs up shot :)  I pushed and ran to that finish!

So from the time the race even started until I crossed the finish line it was 36:22.  The racing chip on my racing bib started timing me the minute I crossed the start line.  From MY start to finish, I ran my first 5k in 35:17!  Did you read that right!?  Yes you did, and that is what I thought when I saw the number.  When I started my couch to 5k app; the first time I jogged 3.1 mi my time was just under 48:00.  Slowly it has gotten better and my recent best was 35:50.  HOLY CRAP!  That was one hell of an improvement!  The difference?  I paced myself today.  I wasn't exhausted.  I never couldn't catch my breath.  I NEVER STOPPED!  When I am home I always end up stopping and walking because I am trying to run my miles in under 11:00/mi.  I should know better!

So, here I am sitting here....I can't believe it's over already!  I also can't wait for my next 5k in October!  That one I am running with my Mom!  It really was such a rush and I can't believe I did it!  The November 2012 me would have laughed at the idea....the September 2013 me is ready to kick ass and keep moving and stay healthy.  Let's admit it....I feel amazing and I don't look half that bad these days ;)

Thank you all for your support and pushing...Words cannot describe how I am feeling today....Complete and utter joy!

~ <3 ~
Me

Proof of Losing

I have been DREADING this post for awhile.  I was nervous, scared, excited, proud.  SUCH a mixture of emotions I just didn't know if I should even do it!  BUT, here it is!

 May 2013 - 200 lbs - lazy, tired, exhausted.  I felt awful about my body and had nothing to wear!

This is today; September 2013 - 180 lbs - active, running, energetic, confident.  I am still not comfortable with my body, BUT I feel better about it :)

A lot of my weight is in my stomach/hips/thighs.  I recently joined a gym for winter time and I plan on running my 3x a week, but also doing weights 2x a week.  They offer one free training session that I PLAN on taking advantage of.  Or finding someone to help me while I am there!

The after picture just makes me smile.  If you could see my face in these pictures, you can see my expressions.  the 200 lb me was frowing....slouching....sad.  You could just see how miserable I was.  And as the pictures have progressed (I have slacked at doing my monthly photos, but have tried) I can see the change.  I stand up straighter, my smile is wider.  I am more confident!

So again....thank you to ALL who have been so supportive!  I run my first 5k in one week and I would be lying if I didn't say I was PETRIFIED!  I don't do well in unfamiliar places.  My anxiety kicks in full force!  It starts at 10:30 am but we have to register at 8:30am....I don't want to wait!  LoL

Wish me luck, and YES I will have pictures to share.  Have a great Sunday everyone!

~ <3 ~
Me

Recovering From Vacation

I know I haven't been posting, and the reason was that we went on our first family vacation!  We left on Labor Day and headed to the Smokey Mountains in Tennessee.  It was wonderful....hot and muggy, but nice!  I think the kids were a little young for this trip as they didn't have much to do so they got a bit bored no matter what we tried.

I was petrified!  I didn't run all week.  I TRIED to keep up with my good eating and failed except for our last day there because I was mostly in the car.  Couldn't keep up with my steps!  I honestly felt depressed and down.  I was lazy this week and my body was telling me!  I can't do that!

Surprisingly enough, I weighed myself last night right before bed (mistake #1).  Mistake #2 was that I even bothered to weigh myself after our vacation HaHaHa.  I did it anyways and my weight was the same!!  Still 20lbs down!  I couldn't believe it!

This, I can honestly say, is the first picture I have seen of myself where I didn't think "Oh wow I look HUGE!".  My husband has told me I am looking great.  My Mom has been telling me that I am looking great.....everyone has said something small or big in the same sense that I am looking better.  For the first time.....ME!!!  I FINALLY see it!  I plan on taking my new picture this weekend and posting my before and after for my 20lb loss.  I am PETRIFIED to compare but excited all at the same time.

My Fitbit numbers have been awful.  I spend two full days in a car and the other days we were really only walking so often.  BUT we enjoyed ourselves!

Starting fresh today!  My eating is better...i COULD be more active, but I am getting there :)  I am watching some incredible motivators.  Through their blogs, on My Fitness Pal , in life.  They really are inspirations, so thank you to all of you for keeping me on my toes and healthy!  You all being on my case really is great!!

Ok, I just wanted to touch base, I will try to post more soon!  Thank you for reading :)

~ <3 ~
Me

Parades Are My New Nemesis

So not once have I really thought of this, however today made me realize something.  Just because candy is "fun size" doesn't mean it's fun for your calorie intake!  We took our kids to a parade this morning and there they stood.  Eyes opened wide and gleaming, chasing the scattered candy all over the sidewalks.  So as I notice some of my favorites I grab them up and cram them down my throat.  They tasted sooooo good.  I am pretty sure I now understand how an addict feels when they get a taste of the good stuff.

My enjoyment quickly died down when I realized that I could not hide this from my friends on My Fitness Pal and I very slowly entered EVERY....SINGLE.....piece of crap I swallowed.  My smile quickly faded, and i almost instantly felt my belly gain 4 pant sizes realizing that I had eaten......wait for it....433 calories!  That is a freaking meal!  Not to mention it wasn't filling and it almost made me eat everything in the house once we got home.

So, be careful my friends.  Those parade candies and Halloween candies will get ya.  Knowing my inner battle with food, I cannot eat just one.  I need to devour an entire bag then sniff out more like a blood thirsty horror monster looking for my next victim.  Yes, I went there :)

Enjoy the rest of your weekend my friends!  Keep moving, walking, biking, running.  Whatever you need to do to keep that movement going!  And enjoy the weather if you have good weather this weekend! 

~ <3 ~
Me

Humans never cease to amaze....

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Seriously, the human race never ceases to amaze me.  I was very productive this morning and had time to start my 5k to 10k app.  Off I went.  Feeling good to start my new goal for the day.  As I make my way around our block I hear a faint noise.  I decide to turn down my music to take a listen and I hear a young boy screaming from somewhere "Keep running fatty!  You're so fat!".  I didn't turn around, and I just keep on trucking forward.  It didn't hurt me or my feelings.  It made me agry.  At his parents!

Growing up, we picked on kids.  I was even picked on a bit, but it is NOTHING like the kids these days.  Call it bullying, call it picking on someone.  Whatever you call it, it is wrong.  I don't understand how parents can allow their children to behave like this.  NOW, mind you something to think about is "Where did they learn it from?".  Some can say TV, some can say video games, music.  You know what I say?  PARENTS!  Parents need to start taking responsibility of their children.  Molding them into loving caring human beings.  Faith and religion in their lives is a whole different blog post that I will allow some other daring soul to endure.  I have my feelings and I am sure you all have yours on that as well.

Back on track.  Kids these days are not taught to respect people.  They are rude, vile little things and it saddens me that our children will soon be put into school with these kids.  Now, I know it isn't ALL kids, but wow is it a lot.

So, my PSA for today is.... Parents: Please teach your children about love, and respect.  Teach them to treat others the way they would like to be treated.  Teach them how to TALK to people instead of staring at their phones all the time (yes I am guilty of this and am trying to break the habit for my own kids).  Teach them to strive for goals and successes in life.  Kids these days have no direction and it is because we don't expect things from them any more.  They need responsibility and and expectations.

I know every child is different, but we can teach them how to be nice!  I mean sheesh it is pretty simple!

As a side note, I completed Week1 Day1 of my 5k-10k program and cut our front and back lawn as well.  Lots of steps already from my fitbit!

I have been pretty busy today, but that is good.  I have been a lazy bum the last few days :)  I am loving my Fitbit by the way.  It really let me know that I WASN'T moving as much as I thought I did at work!  It has been amazing.  I am a very visual person, so all of the grafts they use really keep me motivated and keep me seeing how I am doing.  I got mine super cheap on eBay!  Just do a search for a used one!  That's what I did!

Ok, enough of my product placement :)  Have an amazing day and enjoy everything and everyone!  Peace and love my friends.....peace and love ;)

~ <3 ~
Me

Getting Speedy

 

One of the things that has been frustrating for me is my time while running.  I am still new to fitness and my new hobby of running, however I like to see progress.  I have been running 38-41min for 3.1mi.  It hasn't changed!  Every week I get frustrated because I am not progressing like I feel I should.  

If you have been reading my posts you will notice I have been doing a LOT of biking with our kids ( click here ).  I also have been working on my time for running a mile ( See Here ).  My best time ended up getting down to 10:38-ish?  Well, I ran my mile today in 10:16!  I also biked 4.79mi tonight.  I had a poor eating day and I know I had to make up for SOME of it.  Plus I wanted to keep up on my Fitbit steps for the day since I have been doing so bad at it.

Back to the point right?  So I noticed last week when I combined my quick mile runs with bike rides, by the end of the week I had gut my 5k time by 3 mins.  That is a HUGE improvement!  My main goal has been to improve my time.  I feel these short bursts of running (which my time has improved) are really conditioning my body for faster running.

I have my first 5k in just a few short weeks.  I am excited and SO nervous.  I just want to finish but at a good pace without pushing too hard that I feel like I am going to die.  So I guess my training continues.  I will always try to improve myself in all aspects, but it is nice to have goals to achieve so that I can keep striving!

Do you have anything in your life or fitness wise that you have a goal set?  Whether it is reducing your running/walking times or a weight you are lifting or even weight you are trying to lose?

No matter what it is, stick with it and I am proof that ANYTHING is possible as long as you REALLY want it!

~ <3 ~

Me

Absolutely Exhausted

YUP!  This is me right now.  I can barely keep my eyes open and it isn't even 8pm yet!  Our son refuses to sleep to a decent hour and it is starting to show in my face.  I was pretty active this weekend and Sunday I was just plain 'ole busy.  Work was crazy for me today and I sat down after dinner and hit ROCK BOTTOM.

Mondays are my running days, so I know I need to get out there and at least run ONE mile!  Just one!  That's it body....just one tiny mile compared to the usual 3.1.  Screw you body!  I am at the point of exhaustion today.  I can tell my body is screaming for a break....it isn't used to all of this craziness....ok, maybe today my friend.....but tomorrow you are getting your butt kicked!

~ <3 ~
Me