My New Running Partner

This here is our newest addition to the family.  His name is Toby and we adopted him the end of August.  I have been having the baby bug and now that we made the decision to have no more children, this guy here was the next best thing.

It has been an adjustment between skin issues, and issues with our other dog Krista.  But slowly but surely he really is coming around. 

He has been such a snuggly ball of fur for me and I just love him so much and it filled whatever void I had.  As exhausting as he can be. it really has been a joy to have him around and to know we rescued him!  We adopted him from NE Ohio Lab Rescue and I am so glad we did!

He has been amazing with the children and our other dog.  SO, I decided to make the decision that he would be my new running partner.  He is pretty good on a leash.  That means he still needs corrected and managed slightly to avoid distractions.

I researched for a whole weekend online as to what would be a good leash to use when I take him running.  I hate having the leash in my hands because it is so distracting to me and I can't focus on my run because I am to worried about how I am holding the leash and how it feels in my hand.  When my research was complete I had found the perfect solution.

So this is the Stunt Puppy Stunt Runner Hands-Free Dog Leash.  I bought it on Amazon.  Big surprise because I buy everything off their website LoL.  So we started last week.  Day 1 was really hard.  I have bruises on my shins and I am pretty sure I took fur off his paws when he cut me off to chase squirrels or people to play with.

Day 2 went a bit better.  I only tripped over him once.  I would say that was pretty good!  The only issue is that his training collar slides around his neck so sometimes I have to make a quick stop to adjust it for him.

Today went VERY well!  I took him to one of the local Metroparks with a friend and we ran together.  I did the best time since I started running again and made it in just over 37 minutes.  I have really been struggling, so I was so happy with that result.  There were a TON of people walking past us and he did AMAZING!.

Our first furry baby loves walks, but she can't keep up with the runs.  She hits 1.5 miles and she just stops.  Her arthritis gets bad too and then she can't even walk up the small 6 steps to get upstairs.  I feel bad when I leave her behind, but she just can't do it.

So, our Toby has been doing amazing and I will tell you something; he behaves so much better when he gets that exercise. 

So, this has been my crazy life so far.  I have been a lazy bum with my fitness and eating.  I just started back up with my running this past week because my last two races have been AWFUL time wise.  Work, kids, dogs, life.

Never a dull moment, but I am taking it in stride and enjoying every moment as I can :)  Happy Fall to all of you my friends.  Enjoy your baked goods and cinnamon-y smells.  I have my fall candles going and my fall decorations up.  Pumpkins, pumpkins, pumpkins.  I just love pumpkins! :)

 

~ <3 ~

Me

Dusting Off and Starting Fresh!

Wow.....has it really been THAT long since my last blog post?  Has it really been THAT long since I have gone running?

YUP!!!

We have had some random nice days, but nothing consistent.  We had a CRAZY deep freeze last week and, well, that wasn't going to allow me any outdoor time.  SO, today the sun was shining and the wind was decent.  I ate my lunch at work and decided to do a quick run before my afternoon began.

I ran 0.8 miles and it felt AMAZING!  I think it was just what I needed.  I plan on going to the gym after work tomorrow and running 2 or 3 miles then hitting up the elliptical for the final few to get 5 miles.  I miss it.

My heart is aching from not running.  When I have a moment to sprint across a parking lot, it is the

most amazing feeling ever.  It brings back all that enjoyment and feeling of success and victory.

Surprisingly enough, I have maintained my weight since the whole "knee issue" before Thanksgiving.  I actually lost 0.8lbs which shocked me.  I start back at karate group class tomorrow night which I am super excited about.  I miss it.  The last class I went to my Dad KILLED us!  I literally couldn't sit down on the toilet without using my arms to brace myself for 3 days!  Lunges but they make your butt look nice and perky LOL

Another lady at work got herself a Fitbit and ALL HELL has broken loose! She is the ultimate competitor and has put my fitness friend Eva and I to the test.  Because I have basically given up on my lifestyle lately, I have been able to watch those two go at it!  It is awesome to have competition though because it makes you become more active and strive to be better every day.

Now THIS poor little guy right here represents my eating in every way possible.  I guess I feel like I am eating everything in site with no control at all like I was doing before.  Before my sabbatical I would have a HARD time hitting my calorie goal.  These days I just eat, and eat, and eat, and eat, and.....well, you get the point.

I don't know why, but I am a snacker.  If I can just find something to eat I will eat it and still feel hungry.  UUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH it is so frustrating!  I seriously may go insane, but I am hoping my burst of healthy energy starts my life back up because I wanted to be at my goal weight within a year.  I know that that is a pretty high goal, but it was what I thought was possible.

Maybe it still is, but I have one heck of a long road to travel before I reach the end and begin my maintenance journey.  I am sorry to you all that I haven't been around, and I really should get back with it. 

I feel it already.  I am starting to feel more tired.  I am not as energetic and happy.  I am feeling a little depression coming on.  I NEED THIS!  I need my exercise and running as my prescription for a happy life.  Fitness is my antidepressant and I miss my natural drug so much! 

I AM getting back in the swing of it.  I WILL continue to my goal.  I WILL DO IT!  Plus, all of you are watching me and if I don't do it......boy will I feel silly right????

I hope some of you stuck around to read this, and I am sorry, but this goes to show how easy it is to fall off the wagon, and how hard it is to get back on!  We can do this!!!

~ <3 ~
Me

The Holiday Streak!!

Come Join Us!

This is a personal challenge for YOURSELF!

The Challenge: Starting on Thanksgiving, you start running/walking every day until New Years Day.

Requirements: NONE! You can run/walk one mile or 26 miles! You can be outside or in a treadmill. All that matters is that you keep moving!

The Goal: The goal is to keep your body moving through, what normally would be a pretty sedentary holiday season!

I read an article in Runners World Magazine about this and thought it would be great to do. It helps people who don't exercise get moving and it also helps runners stay fit and trained!

Please feel free to invite your friends!

Will you join me???

In no way is my event photo condoning actual streaking. I just thought it was a funny add on :)

Click below to join!!!

The Holiday Streak (A Running/Walking Challenge) 

 

A Little Barry White??

I know I have been absent from here lately and that is because I have been absent from everything!  My eating healthy and my fitness goals.  I did snag this quick "selfie" today while cleaning.  I am starting to feel more comfortable in my body!

I got on the scale this morning and I did gain 1lb :(  I mean it could have been worse!!  I am still disappointed in myself.  I did decide to go running during my lunch on Mondays.  Just a quick 2 miles so I am not too gross and sweaty when I am done.  They don't have showers at the gym and I can't give myself a sponge bath when I get back to work LoL.  I need to find a good body cleansing cloth that I can use.

So back on topic today.  It gets a little personal, so if you are easily offended or uncomfortable stop reading :)  Now, I don't know about you other ladies....or men for that matter.  When my husband and I first got married, things were amAzing in the passion department.  We had our daughter and things continued going strong.  Always intense and exciting.  Then we hit a wall when our son was born.  Like literally a brick and stone wall....completely solid.  Mind you, our son is 2 1/2 now.  I can honestly say not until the past few months have things started getting back to normal again!

My husband would NEVER tell me anything bad about my weight.  He never looks at other women or comments about their bodies.  Well, except for Carrie Underwood, but that is allowed.  So he never made me feel less than or not good enough.  It was all mental for me.  I was uncomfortable with who I was.  I was uncomfortable in the skin I was in.  I wasn't confident.  I felt awkward.  I felt huge.  I felt fat.  I felt disgusting.  I didn't feel sexy or attractive.  I felt ugly.  My husband never made me feel this way....EVER!   This is how I felt about myself. 

As I am noticing my curvy hips and my favorite.....my clavicle (collar bone), I am feeling beautiful!  I am more confident with my body and what I do with it.  I am sure my husband is appreciative of this too HAHAHAHA.  It has made a HUGE difference in our relationship.  More passion....crazy, right!?  I am not hesitant when we are together.  The excitement is back.  I am excited about being intimate with my husband with this revamped body of mine!

Another huge help has been my friend Yurisa.  We got back in touch through FB.  It had been YEARS since we ever talked.  BFB4L Yo (She'll understand what that means).  ANYWAY!  She has really gotten me into trying different types of clothing and even more recently things to do with makeup.  My beauty guru.  When I put the time in (when i have the time) it knocks that confidence through the roof.  Her support through our friendship has been immense, but her newest tips have really helped put the icing on the cake so to say.  Thanks girl!

Some people who are heavier MAY be comfortable in their skin.  To them I say I am happy for you and good for you all.  It just wasn't for me!  I am enjoying the new me, and my husband might be too!  HAHA.  In regards to the title about Barry White....it's an inside joke with my family that if you hear Barry White playing don't come barging in because things MIGHT be going on LoL  I love my family :)  So, in conclusion (I now feel like I am finalizing my English paper for school) if you are comfortable and confident in the skin you are in, congrats and much love to you.  If you are not, there is always room for self improvement.  Just be sure to do it for yourself and not for someone else.  Who cares what everyone else thinks.  It is about how you feel about yourself and the way you look!

~ <3 ~
Me

It felt a-MA-zing!

Running that is!  I burned so many extra calories this morning because I chose to do the "Hill" program on the treadmill.  I chose to do level 5 out of 20 and WOW am I glad I didn't go higher than that :) 

I decided my body needed a change up.  Running 4 miles on a treadmill is easy when you are running flat with no obstacles right!?  I start at a 0 and go to 2.1, 3.4, 4.7.  HOLY SHMOLY!   It actually was easier when I ran faster!  I pushed 5.2mph running uphill and bumped it down to 4.9/5.0 when at 0.  I was SO exhausted that I only made it to 3 miles LoL.  I then did a run/walk combo for that final mile.  I had to finish that 4 miles today some how!  I got at 3.9 and then i broke out into a sprint!  I was seriously burning rubber off my shoes I was going so fast!  It felt amazing and it was JUST what I needed!

I really was starting to freak out last week for fear of a relapse into my old ways, but I did it and I am back!  I did not do my 30DS last night.....I have to do something!  I'll figure it out somehow :) 

As a side note, my daughter starts her dance class this Friday!  She is so excited and I am excited for her!  I will keep you posted!

Ok, I am out of here for a very busy day!  Gotta get in all of my steps! :)

~ <3 ~
Me

Support Systems

It is motivational Tuesday for me!  I am trying to find some push to get my ass moving.

Today's topic I really wanted to post something about support systems.  I have said before that you won't make life changes until you are ready.  Until every aspect of your life is ready.  That includes a  strong and steady support system.

If you don't have a strong support system, the people around you can sabotage all efforts to improve your life.  All is takes is one negative nelly to ruin your efforts.  Especially in the beginning!  For me, I am still weak.  I have only been at this for 5 months and I am STILL weak!  It takes a brief second for me to cram a cookie in my mouth.  To have that extra scoop of pasta.  To eat that extra slice of bread.

I still have people say "Oh just have one", "If you have a little it won't matter".  What they don't realize is that ONE or that LITTLE bit can ruin me!  In a brief moment of weakness I can cave and THAT snowballs for the rest of my day!  I know not all people realize this, but when I say no.....I mean NO!  Stop offering me snacks KNOWING I can't have them.  Stop egging me on to eat that one tiny bite when you know I can't do it.

If your support system that surrounds you just can't accept the fact that you are changing your lifestyle and trying to improve your life.  You need to sit them down and put it all out there.  Tell them that you need their support and encouragement.  That when you don't eat a certain thing, or don't have that piece of cake; there is a reason!  If they choose to laugh or make light of your decisions....screw them!  They are selfish and you don't need to put up with their crap.  You also don't have the time!!

You need to surround yourself with people who when you decide to MAKE that change, will support you 100%!  When you go to grab that cookie or eat a piece of cake they will have no hesitation speaking up because you asked them to.  They will tell you "It's ok.  You can do it tomorrow".  They will congratulate you when you've done well and they will lift you up when you are feeling down.

I have many support systems.  My husband and kids, my parents (hearing them say how proud they are of me makes me want this even more), family, friends (all of my readers and friends who post supportive comments here and on Facebook).  I also have my online support system.  My My Fitness Pal friends are amazing!  When I have a bad day they help me see why and what NOT to do tomorrow.  My fellow co-workers for the most part are very understanding.  Every once and awhile people offer me food when I am not asking for it.  They will learn :) 

My one co-worker and I (I feel) have grown closer through our lifestyle changes together.  We compare our steps everyday.  We look at each others online food journals.  She really has been a motivator (she has lost a TON of weight) and such a support system for me!  Thanks Eva!  You have been wonderful!  Thank goodness I love my job so that I never leave.  We shall be healthy forever :)

So, thank you to MY support system.  You keep me going when I don't feel like I can, and you are always there through the "thick and thin" of my journey.  Love to you all and thank you!!!

~ <3 ~
Me

Another 5k On The Books

Well, I finished another 5k today!  My Mom ran with me today and MAN is she fast!!  I keep telling her she hustled me with her running time :)

I finished at my personal best of 35:15 (per them) and 35:13 per my Garmin GPS watch.  I had a hard time!  It was a very steep downhill run right off the bat and then the last 1.5 miles was mostly uphill!  I was exhausted, but it kept me going to see my Mom out there in front!

I didn't run Friday which actually put me in a funk the rest of the weekend with my eating!  I was feeling down about not running and I ate through my emotions. 

I felt great today!  I started out a little too fast and had to slow down and pace myself a little more.  I still went faster than my other 5k (obviously).  I got near the finish and my Dad came out to high five us.  I passed him and put it in high gear!  I sprinted to the finish to make sure I beat my time.  When i kicked into sprint mode I chuckled as I heard someone say "Oh my Gosh!"  I mean I was really flying!!

I loved that the race was so early in the morning!  I had the whole rest of the day to enjoy and be outside with our kids!  I guess I don't have much to type!  My brain is kind of empty right now!  OH!  I placed 9th in my division out of 16.  Kind of in the middle there :)  I placed 138 out of I think 212?  That made me happy!  Ok my friends.  Thank you for reading and have an amazing Sunday!!

~ <3 ~
Me

Looking Back.....

This picture won't make sense in the beginning of this post, but somewhere near the middle it should all come together.

So I was talking with a friend of mine today.  She really has been there with me when I was at my lowest point in my life.  But let's rewind for a moment!

I was always a decently happy kid.  Tried to stay positive, always saw the good in everyone and everything.  I tried to anyways :)  I wasn't the most popular kid in school but I wasn't the dorkiest kid either.  I just stayed in the middle and that was ok with me.  People knew who I was but didn't know much about me except for my friends.  I went to college (a local community college) while all of my friends went away to school and enjoyed that "college experience".  I tried to visit when I could. 

I dated guys that were all wrong for me and it affected my schooling.  I met my husband and it all just came together!  It was so easy!  He helped me study and in his words "I graduated from Dental Hygiene school too!"  He did learn a lot with helping me :)

Right out of school I got a part time job at an amazing office.  My Boss was like a friend and family.  I got engaged and decided I needed a full time job if we wanted a house so that I could contribute.  It broke my heart to leave but I had to do it for my FUTURE family!  So I got a full time job quickly and was there through getting married and giving birth to our daughter.  I was 5 months pregnant with our son when my Boss told me he had sold his office to another Dentist.  Hormones probably affected my response MORE than my brain, but I was devastated.  The new Boss and I were not on the same page with many things and I had made up my mind that during my maternity leave I would find another job.

Not soon after that a Doctor hired me, 7 months pregnant, to work at his office.  I was there 3 months before our son was born and it was AMAZING!  I loved the people I worked with and I loved my boss and the environment I was working in!  I came back from maternity leave and THIS my friends is when I can honestly tell you I went a little crazy! (insert crazy smiley face from above)

It was different.  My Boss was different.  I wouldn't get home until 6:30pm on a night I should be home by 5:15pm!  I would get home at 9:00pm on a night I should be home by 7!  I worked there a year with this life and it RUINED me!  I missed dinner every night for a year.  I missed milestones with my children and husband for a year.  I lost out on my LIFE for a year.  I decided to start seeing someone to talk to....maybe it would help?  It did a little, but not enough to change how awful I was feeling.

I didn't want to do anything.  I sat on the couch online all the time, or watched TV all night.  I was there physically, but mentally I had checked out.  I was surrounded by an amazing family, my incredible children, and my supportive and loving husband, but I still felt so alone!  I started going out with friends and staying out until 2-3 in the morning.  It had to stop!  I told myself "You are 30 years old!  Grow up and deal with your shit!".  I was making poor decisions and looking back I am ashamed, but you can't change the past!  You can only learn from it!

I had an amazing job opportunity come up.  Closer to home, great hours, a little less $ hourly but I'd be home more.  I took it and despite my Boss trying to tell me what a rude awakening I'd have going over to this new office, I felt amazing about my decision.  I started my new job (just after breaking my ankle).  My first day working there was it's own therapy.  I came home EARLY!  Our daughter immediately said, as I walked through the door, "Mommy is home for dinner??".  That alone made me know I had made the right decision.

I love my job!  Every place of employment has their ups and downs, and sure some days I go home and think "Why can't I be a lady of leisure?"  But 99.9% of the time I feel like I am "Home".  My fellow employees are amazing and we may have our moments with each other, but when you have 10 women in an office together.....if there ISN'T drama I would be surprised!  My Boss is incredibly supportive and encourages that Family comes before Work.  That is what sold me on taking the job in the first place :)

So, I had been there and all of a sudden I had a falling out with a friend over.....you guessed it....DRAMA!  This friend was with me while I was doing my partying til 2am.  It was shortly after I started my Couch to 5k program.  I thought we had a good friendship but apparently I was wrong.  It is amazing how quickly things can become ugly and hateful in such a short period of time.  Nothing like that had ever happened to me before...I was honestly shocked.  Things were said and things were done to me that will never be forgotten.  It isn't worth the time mentioning it because it's over and done with.  But this would be a HUGE turning point in my "recovery".

The new job helped get me out of my depression.  I say depression because looking back, I know that's what it was.  Losing the negative energy in my life was the final step.  I was looking at what was most important.  Being around and being healthy for my kids, husband and family.  Also, just to ENJOY LIFE!!! 

I look at life in a whole new way now!  With more energy and more appreciation!  Coming back to the beginning of my post.  My best friend and I got to chat today.  Doesn't seem like a big deal, but she recently moved to another country, so the time difference can be tricky, but we make due.  She always is there for me literally through thick and thin (did you catch my weight joke?).  When I was at my lowest point in my life, she stuck by me and was there for me 24/7.  It's just comforting to know through all the chaos that she was always there and didn't run :)  I am also thankful my husband doesn't mind me take the time to connect with her.  We always joke that I am having an affair because every time I am on the phone or texting it is probably her :)

So, after the lowest of lows....I survived.  I turned things around and am always striving for a better life with my amazingly supportive husband, our incredible kids, and my wonderfully supportive family and friends. 

I couldn't imagine what my Mom was going through as she watched me slowly fall away.  She stuck with me and was and always is so supportive.  It has to be hard watching your child spiral out of control and not be able to do anything to help.  So, thank you Mom!  I can say I am doing AWESOME!!! 

Thank you to my husband.  Because of my issues, he was left with practically being a single parent because I had checked out and didn't do ANYTHING.  Words cannot describe the deep love I have for you that will be with me until we are old and grey :).  You are an amazing husband and an even more incredible father.

Thank you to all of you for reading!  I don't know why I felt the need to post this, but I did!  Don't ever be scared to ask for help or to change your life for the better....no matter the circumstances.  If it improves your life and the lives of those around you, it is a great decision!!

~ <3 ~
Me

Time to Check In

Oh yes my friends!  I am back!  I had a bit of a slump and today was my turning point!  I really beat through some anxiety today and I'm glad I did.  I packed my work out clothes and took them to work.  I figured if it was nice enough I would run outside in the neighborhoods around work.  If it was nasty out, I would get my ass to the gym.  Well the temperature was and is amazing, but it looked like a storm coming in.  I changed, got in my car and drove to the gym.

The parking lot was so busy.....fear #1: a lot of people staring and watching me look like an idiot.  I walked in and NO ONE!  It must have been all the men in the back on the weights.  I found myself a treadmill in front of a T.V that had ESPN on it....something neutral and entertaining to keep my interest, but I didn't have to think much :)  Fear #2: Oh crap what if I fall off this thing!?  (By the way....that didn't happen)

So I recently downloaded The 20/20 Experience 2 of 2.  I have been wanting to really listen to it and now was my chance.  I start blasting my JT and just RAN!  It took a lot not to look at the screen to see how far I've gone and how much time had gone by, but I did it!!

 So, off I went.  Running my butt off (or so I am hoping) :)  People come and go in the gym.  Cars drive by.  I watch the main road as the cars and trucks drive passed.  A Budweiser truck was stocking a bar....I would be lying if THAT didn't sound amazing while I was running :)  A group of buff dudes came in barely able to put their arms at their sides HaHaHa.  I kept it up!  Even when the twiggy girl started running right next to me....REALLY WOMAN!?  Of all the treadmills they have here you HAVE to pick the one next to me???  Ugghhhh!!!  Anywho,  I saw I was half way there at 2 miles and thought to myself "this was easy!  You can do more than this!"  So I put it in my mind that 4.0 miles was where I would stop today.  I got to about 3.8 and started to slow down.  At 3.9 I started a brisk cool down walk.  At 4.0 I stopped.  I couldn't believe it!  I was REVVED!  I got off the treadmill and went to collect my keys and out the door I went.

For my next gym visit, I do need to remember a towel next time.  My running tanks only help so much when I wipe my face off.....WHEW! I really do feel amazing!  When I am running I can get so much shit cleared out of my head!  I run through it all and when I am done my head feels better and I am so much less stressed.  I came home and stepped on the scale before I cleaned up and BAM!  Another pound lost!  My weight loss ticker is to the right down there ----->>>>>

I couldn't believe it!  I have been eating 1600 calories fairly regularly.  Not the best choices some days, but the one consistent thing is my protein intake.  I have been eating these AMAZING chiken pita sandwhiches with a sundried tomato hummus.  WOOOOOW.  They are incredible!  I love it!  I also have been eating a lot of low cal greek yogurt too.  I still am weak and don't know how to eat "properly" but I am trying.  I am hoping after a year I will have this food thing down and it won't be so hard to maintain and stick with.  I am sure it will always be an inner battle, but I hope it gets easier!

As a side note, this new JT album is kick ass.  Favorite tune hands down is "Drink You Away"  Amazing and a great beat to jog to!

Thanks for reading (those of you who do) and I am trying to keep up with this and track my progress!  Thanks to you all!  Enjoy the rest of the week my friends!

~ <3 ~
Me

Holy Moly!!!!

This, my friends, is how I felt this morning after finishing my run.  I ran NON-STOP (well I walked 2mins at the end of my run) for 3.50 miles!  I was so happy!  I kept telling myself not to look at my distance.  Why?  Because as soon as I would hit that 3.1 I knew I would be a lazy ass and start slowing down and walking.  I am pretty good with knowing when I will wuss out on things and THAT was one of those moments.  My legs are sore, but a good sore  I have been doing a lot of stretching since I got back.  It felt good to get out in the sun.  There is a nice breeze off the lake today so it was the perfect balance of cool and warm.  Great running weather today!

One of the things I have a hard time with is change.  I have posted about my anxiety about un-known things and hopefully didn't make myself sound like a lunatic.  HOWEVER, today was HUGE!  I ran out of our development and down the main road to to my "course" today.  I needed a change and it was just what I needed!  My first goal to accomplish on this way is to be able to run past the ice cream shop and back home....probably a good 6 miles maybe?  The way I would run anyways...if we drove we'd take the quick way and be there in no time :)

Anyway, it felt great!  I was on the pavement feeling the gravel.  Sidewalks tend to bore me and almost are more of a work out and are more exhausting just because they vary going up and down SO much!  I can't wait to accomplish this goal!  I have to map it out on map my run and see how many miles it is!

Fall is here, which means winter is close behind, so I am preparing myself to begin running at the gym.  I have to keep after myself so that I don't take the easy way out for me and do an elliptical.  I am nervous yet excited knowing that I can continue my journey without any interruption on the way.

My next item on the list is weight training.  I REALLY need to get into gear because as I am losing weight, I am getting floppy.  Floppy arms, floppy thighs, floppy tummy.  I gotta tighten all of that up before it starts just sagging there like a piece of road kill. :)  I wish I had a friend close by that did weight training that could take me twice a week to my gym and (for free) just guide me with what to do.  I've never properly used gym equipment other than an elliptical machine.  So, A) there are random men also using the machines and B) I don't want to do something and hurt myself.
So, now I need to get ready for my day of work!  No one wants a stinky lady cleaning their teeth ;)

~ <3 ~
Me

Props to fox1047 for the image that I took off Deviant Art

Holy Weight Loss Batman!

I have done fairly well this week!  Just earlier in the week I documented a 2lb loss.  And yesterday I lost another pound!  I was ecstatic!  I felt like I really was moving and couldn't figure out why!  I looked back at my food logging and realized 2 things.

First, I wasn't eating very much sugar....which has really given me a bit of energy!  Second, I have been eating 1600 calories instead of the 1400 that I have my goal set to.  Now, I don't know if this is  the reason or a fluke or what the deal is, but I am kind of testing the waters.  At 1400 calories, I have never felt like I was starving or hungry.  But when I hit the 1600 calories I didn't have the urges to snack!  I will keep you posted on my new study.

Yesterday I started some shopping for two outfits for the weekend.  I got a cute sweater from a store called Maurices.  I also was able to buy a size 14 jean in my favorite Style & Co brand from Macy's!  I love their jeans because it helps with my "Mommy tummy".  So while I was there, I tried on some dresses!

First I couldn't believe that I was even fitting into a 12!  A SIZE 12!!!!  It was incredible!  This dress here was just a dress I HAD to try on.  It looked gorgeous on the rack and back in May I wouldn't have even considered trying this gorgeous thing on.

For the first time ever I thought "Daaaaaaaaaamn girl you looking good!"  Now I am sure there are people out there who wouldn't agree or who feel maybe I am not "small enough" to fit into a dress like this.  You know what?  Screw you!  I felt amazing :)

My plan is to get this dress for a wedding next year.  It will be my coming out dress and I will look and feel incredible!

My next gial is to REALLY get some weights in my regimen.  I am noticing my arms and legs and tummy just aren't catching up with the rest of my loss and I am noticing.  They are the last parts changing and it is frustrating, but I know it takes time.  I just don't want floppy arms after I lose my weight!

It's just a matter of getting it done.  I just don't know how to get started or what to do!  BLAH!  I just gotta do it!  Ok my friends!  I have a super busy weekend ahead with a lot of food coming my way, but I WILL keep up with it!

As a side note, my Wheat wrap, chicken, sundried tomato hummus sandwiches have been AMAZING!  All of the extra protein is helping to keep me feeling full so I don't devour everything in the cupboard!  Stay safe to all the other food addicts out there.....I know it's tough!!

~ <3 ~
Me

My First 5k!

That's me!!  That's me!!  Just coming up on the finish of my first ever 5k!  I was so nervous and frankly intimidated by the number of people there!  I signed up for this 5k months ago.  I finished my Couch to 5k app in July and have been waiting to do a 5k that doesn't involve just myself :)

It was SUCH an amazing experience!  A friend of ours was nice enough to bring me to the race and hang with me until he passed my slow ass HaHaHa .  We got there early and it was SO cold!  Thank goodness the sun came out.  It wasn't too warm and it wasn't so cold.  It really was perfect running weather!

So the race begins.....everyone is walking to the starting line.  We hit the starting line and BAM we start jogging.  I maintained 11:20-11:40/mi.  I got passed up, and I passed others.  But I kept with MY pace.  My music was blaring in my ears to keep me concentrating on my main goal.  NOT STOPPING!  I just wanted to jog the whole way and never stop to rest or catch my breath.  The last .50mi it was all uphill and I remember reading about the best way to run up hill and I kept pushing.  People were stopping at the water stops but I kept going....it was only 3mi and I never have water at home until I get home.  So off I went!

I started seeing people slowing down, starting to walk.  I refused!  I HAD to keep going!  As I make my way up that last hill my inner demon starts on me "Oh man that was hard, you should slow it down".  I bitch slapped her and pushed myself even harder!  When I heard a man say "Only about 100 yards left everyone!  Keep it up you are doing great" I kicked my ass into gear and got moving!  As I started entering the center of the town the first person I saw was my Mom in her bright blue shirt.  I was so excited and hence my thumbs up shot :)  I pushed and ran to that finish!

So from the time the race even started until I crossed the finish line it was 36:22.  The racing chip on my racing bib started timing me the minute I crossed the start line.  From MY start to finish, I ran my first 5k in 35:17!  Did you read that right!?  Yes you did, and that is what I thought when I saw the number.  When I started my couch to 5k app; the first time I jogged 3.1 mi my time was just under 48:00.  Slowly it has gotten better and my recent best was 35:50.  HOLY CRAP!  That was one hell of an improvement!  The difference?  I paced myself today.  I wasn't exhausted.  I never couldn't catch my breath.  I NEVER STOPPED!  When I am home I always end up stopping and walking because I am trying to run my miles in under 11:00/mi.  I should know better!

So, here I am sitting here....I can't believe it's over already!  I also can't wait for my next 5k in October!  That one I am running with my Mom!  It really was such a rush and I can't believe I did it!  The November 2012 me would have laughed at the idea....the September 2013 me is ready to kick ass and keep moving and stay healthy.  Let's admit it....I feel amazing and I don't look half that bad these days ;)

Thank you all for your support and pushing...Words cannot describe how I am feeling today....Complete and utter joy!

~ <3 ~
Me

Had To Share!!!!!

I shaved off 5 seconds of my all time low running 3.1mi!  I am down to 35:50!!!  WOOHOOO!

Yeah....that's all I wanted to post :)  The run, by the way, did make me feel better! :)

~ <3 ~
Me

Feeling "Bleh" Today

Some days I realize I need to vent and writing on here really helps scare the blues away.  Today is one of those days.  It's gloomy outside with the impending rain (which we need) and I start later at work today.  I am up and about trying to clean the house and do laundry.  I am just not feeling it today!

I am very nervous about my upcoming 5k on Sunday.  I am excited to get to the finish line but I am still nervous.  I clam up and freak out around large groups of people and unfamiliar situations.  I am thankful that a friend will be near me.  He convinced me to do the race!  Still, I am nervous.  I really want to do well on time but I don't want that to be going through my mind while I am running.  In reality I just want to finish the race without feeling like death :)

Yesterday at work was a bit awkward.  There was a small situation with someone there.  I don't like confrontation and enjoy living in my happy bubble where there is no hate....only fluffy clouds and unicorns!  It really rattled my bones.  I don't know why I let stuff stay with me and bother me.  Our office consultant once said "I don't make you feel a certain way.  It is how you make YOURSELF feel when you interpret it".  That is so true!

I really take things personally.  I may not show it when it happens but it sticks with me for quite awhile.  It could be a little jab at me or something to poke fun.  I will laugh and make my quick come back, but unfortunately, I am still sensitive.  I feel like I always had a high self esteem to keep myself up when maybe I didn't have the friends in school, or when I did get picked on.  As an adult.....it's EXHAUSTING!  People tell me I need to speak up and say my mind and when things hurt or bother me to say something.  I am trying.....still growing.....still learning.

My problem is I have such an open heart.  I take everyone in and when something happens to crush that "perfect" thought I am devastated!  So anywho, yesterday at work really rattled me.  My boss is amazing and supported me which I am so thankful for!  He really is an amazing boss....I am very lucky to have landed where I am today.  So, why am I still letting it bother me?  Who knows...I hate it.  I need to pray or meditate or something.  As I get older my anxiety is getting worse.

On the days that I run,  I feel amazing.....maybe I need to start running everyday?  It's my own personal antidepressant/anti-anxiety treatment!  A doctor I USED to see (notice the past tense) tried to put me on an antidepressant for my anxiety and I was a ZOMBIE for at least a month.  I took myself off of it when I realized I was falling asleep in the middle of the floor while I was playing with my kids.  I have to admit that my job then was emotionally and physically draining (mainly due to the boss I had).  Once I found another job that helped 300% and then my running has really given me an outlet.  My Dad keeps telling me to come back to Karate.  I miss it....the physical contact of hitting shit really made me feel great.  I was really involved in high school and it helped me stay fit, flexible, and strong!

I really don't know where this entry is going.  But I figured if I type it out and put it out there....I'll feel better for venting and my readers always offer great support.  I have been reading blogs out there and it is amazing seeing other peoples journeys through their weight loss and healthy living.  So inspiring.  One that resonated was a recent post HERE about how people judge others who are overweight and how they feel about it.  Such an amazing perspective.  I am guilty of it too.  Trying to put on a happy face when inside you are screaming....read up.  It is amazing!

Ok, so don't be worried about me from this post.  I am FINE.  I just needed to vent.  My husband gets an earful of my venting and I figured he needed a break ;)

As a side note, it was freaking HOT yesterday and I decided to go running at 1:30pm....yeah not so smart.  I walked a lot because I started getting chills around my lips and up my spine.  Always freaks me out when it's super hot out and while I am a sweaty mess I start shaking because I am cold....NOT good!  I tried to re run my wk2 day 2 in my 5k-10k app and failed at beating my previous time.  I wasn't surprised just because of the weather conditions.  But I did it until the end and then went further to make sure I finished that 3.1 mi!!!  I run tomorrow again....I may go today.  Just for a mile as a time check to help with my time for Sunday......AHHHH SUNDAY!!!  :)


My Fitbit is great.  The woman at work and I were hard core competing and I gave up.  She always beats me in steps.  But when I run my 3mi I try to burn more calories rather than look at the steps I have.  It always makes me smile when I do hit my 10,000/day though!  I feel like I accomplished something!  Here is a screen shot of my day yesterday.

Pretty good I think!  My best day was like 15,000 something.  That was a day I ran AND cut the grass :)  I felt amazing that day.  SUPER exhausted the next day but still great :)  Can't wait to see how I do today!

Well, enough procrastinating.  I have GOT to get some stuff done today!!  Have an amazing day everyone and thanks so much for letting me vent!  I feel so much better :)

~ <3 ~
Me

A Huge Milestone Today!!!

WHAT!?  Am I reading this right!?  Is my scale playing it's mind tricks on me again!?

NOPE!  I got on the scale this morning and BAM!  I was down 2 lbs!  I have finally hit my halfway point!  I lost 20 lbs.  I got rid of 20 lbs of self hate, depression, and un-healthyness.  I NEVER want to go back there ever again!!

Thats just under what our son weighs!  I got rid of a small child in weight!  I have gotten close at times to this, but it happened quickly and then i gained it back.  This time I have worked hard and stuck with a plan.  I do have an amazing support system.

My husband has been amazing while I ditch him in the evenings to go out running.  My Mom and Dad have been super supportive.  I can't even begin to tell you all the friends that have been a huge support with all of this.  Especially my friend Sarah.  She helped drive me in the beginning and helped push me to do things I didn't think I could do.  If you read this girlie....thank you <3

You truly need every aspect of your life to be ready for such a huge change in your life.  Your SELF, your family, your friends.  Thank you all for helping me in becoming the new "Me".  The better and healthier "Me".  The sexier "Me" ;)

I was reading a blog where the woman named her scale.  I shall name mine Johnny after my c25k Zombie trainer.  And after Johnny 5...i LOVE those movies ;)  Althought when it makes me mad, I am sure I will have a few choice names for him teeheehee.

I am having an out of sorts week next week and am hoping to continue the streak of goodness!  Thanks to everyone out there who has been so supportive and hopefully I can help you as you have helped me!

~ <3 ~
Me

Nothing Wrong With A Little Protein

Oh yes my friends.  This was me tonight!  Over the weekend I decided to start the 5k-to-10k program.  I love the iPhone app by Active HERE .  They have it for Android devices as well!  So, today was SO muggy that my skin was dripping just from the damp air.  As I was running, and nearing the end of my run, I got SLAMMED in the face by a swarm of little bugs!  UGGHH!!  ICK!!! BLEECCCHHH!!  Now, a little protein never hurt anyone, but it is still gross :)

Now I know I always talk about my Fitbit, but now I love it more than ever!  I really push myself to stay as active as possible!  Another gal at work has one and we decided to become friends on Fitbit and "compete".  W-O-W!  Was that the best idea ever!  We are the talk of the office because we constantly check our numbers and see where the other one is.  She told me before I left today "Don't go running tonight....take a night off and relax".  She knew my running tacks on 2,000-6,000 steps.  But I am LOVING it!  Friendly competition which keeps us active and healthy!  We take our challenge right up until bed time HaHaHa!

Ok, so here was my screen shot from tonight...and yes, I am sitting on the couch now :)

I LOVE being able to see in color and graphs how I am doing and progressing.  I don't use the calorie count of just my steps.  Only my work outs.  Only when my heart rate is up for 20mins+.  Maybe I should, but I just can't do it.

I also decided to do some Zumba on our PS3 tonight.  Just getting some extra steps and keeping the heart rate up!  Our daughter joined me as well and she was hilarious.  She just makes me laugh the whole time which I am sure helps burn those calories!

I just have to remind myself to keep moving!  If I don't I become a couch potato again.  Sitting and watching TV from 6pm-10pm....it disgusts me how lazy I used to be.  I am so thankful for that moment of motivation that got my a$$ off the couch running a 5k and now again to running a 10k distance soon!  I feel amazing (some days I am still tired) but mostly amazing! :)

As a side note, a friend got motivated to start the couch to 5k program and she started and did amazing!  I hope she sticks with it because she is super psyched about it!

So, my motivational moment is still to just get moving!  If you find yourself sitting all night, go for a walk!  Lap the house!  Something!  ANYTHING!!  There are no excuses!

~ <3 ~
Me

Parades Are My New Nemesis

So not once have I really thought of this, however today made me realize something.  Just because candy is "fun size" doesn't mean it's fun for your calorie intake!  We took our kids to a parade this morning and there they stood.  Eyes opened wide and gleaming, chasing the scattered candy all over the sidewalks.  So as I notice some of my favorites I grab them up and cram them down my throat.  They tasted sooooo good.  I am pretty sure I now understand how an addict feels when they get a taste of the good stuff.

My enjoyment quickly died down when I realized that I could not hide this from my friends on My Fitness Pal and I very slowly entered EVERY....SINGLE.....piece of crap I swallowed.  My smile quickly faded, and i almost instantly felt my belly gain 4 pant sizes realizing that I had eaten......wait for it....433 calories!  That is a freaking meal!  Not to mention it wasn't filling and it almost made me eat everything in the house once we got home.

So, be careful my friends.  Those parade candies and Halloween candies will get ya.  Knowing my inner battle with food, I cannot eat just one.  I need to devour an entire bag then sniff out more like a blood thirsty horror monster looking for my next victim.  Yes, I went there :)

Enjoy the rest of your weekend my friends!  Keep moving, walking, biking, running.  Whatever you need to do to keep that movement going!  And enjoy the weather if you have good weather this weekend! 

~ <3 ~
Me

Humans never cease to amaze....

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Seriously, the human race never ceases to amaze me.  I was very productive this morning and had time to start my 5k to 10k app.  Off I went.  Feeling good to start my new goal for the day.  As I make my way around our block I hear a faint noise.  I decide to turn down my music to take a listen and I hear a young boy screaming from somewhere "Keep running fatty!  You're so fat!".  I didn't turn around, and I just keep on trucking forward.  It didn't hurt me or my feelings.  It made me agry.  At his parents!

Growing up, we picked on kids.  I was even picked on a bit, but it is NOTHING like the kids these days.  Call it bullying, call it picking on someone.  Whatever you call it, it is wrong.  I don't understand how parents can allow their children to behave like this.  NOW, mind you something to think about is "Where did they learn it from?".  Some can say TV, some can say video games, music.  You know what I say?  PARENTS!  Parents need to start taking responsibility of their children.  Molding them into loving caring human beings.  Faith and religion in their lives is a whole different blog post that I will allow some other daring soul to endure.  I have my feelings and I am sure you all have yours on that as well.

Back on track.  Kids these days are not taught to respect people.  They are rude, vile little things and it saddens me that our children will soon be put into school with these kids.  Now, I know it isn't ALL kids, but wow is it a lot.

So, my PSA for today is.... Parents: Please teach your children about love, and respect.  Teach them to treat others the way they would like to be treated.  Teach them how to TALK to people instead of staring at their phones all the time (yes I am guilty of this and am trying to break the habit for my own kids).  Teach them to strive for goals and successes in life.  Kids these days have no direction and it is because we don't expect things from them any more.  They need responsibility and and expectations.

I know every child is different, but we can teach them how to be nice!  I mean sheesh it is pretty simple!

As a side note, I completed Week1 Day1 of my 5k-10k program and cut our front and back lawn as well.  Lots of steps already from my fitbit!

I have been pretty busy today, but that is good.  I have been a lazy bum the last few days :)  I am loving my Fitbit by the way.  It really let me know that I WASN'T moving as much as I thought I did at work!  It has been amazing.  I am a very visual person, so all of the grafts they use really keep me motivated and keep me seeing how I am doing.  I got mine super cheap on eBay!  Just do a search for a used one!  That's what I did!

Ok, enough of my product placement :)  Have an amazing day and enjoy everything and everyone!  Peace and love my friends.....peace and love ;)

~ <3 ~
Me

Getting Speedy

 

One of the things that has been frustrating for me is my time while running.  I am still new to fitness and my new hobby of running, however I like to see progress.  I have been running 38-41min for 3.1mi.  It hasn't changed!  Every week I get frustrated because I am not progressing like I feel I should.  

If you have been reading my posts you will notice I have been doing a LOT of biking with our kids ( click here ).  I also have been working on my time for running a mile ( See Here ).  My best time ended up getting down to 10:38-ish?  Well, I ran my mile today in 10:16!  I also biked 4.79mi tonight.  I had a poor eating day and I know I had to make up for SOME of it.  Plus I wanted to keep up on my Fitbit steps for the day since I have been doing so bad at it.

Back to the point right?  So I noticed last week when I combined my quick mile runs with bike rides, by the end of the week I had gut my 5k time by 3 mins.  That is a HUGE improvement!  My main goal has been to improve my time.  I feel these short bursts of running (which my time has improved) are really conditioning my body for faster running.

I have my first 5k in just a few short weeks.  I am excited and SO nervous.  I just want to finish but at a good pace without pushing too hard that I feel like I am going to die.  So I guess my training continues.  I will always try to improve myself in all aspects, but it is nice to have goals to achieve so that I can keep striving!

Do you have anything in your life or fitness wise that you have a goal set?  Whether it is reducing your running/walking times or a weight you are lifting or even weight you are trying to lose?

No matter what it is, stick with it and I am proof that ANYTHING is possible as long as you REALLY want it!

~ <3 ~

Me

Out of Control Today

This is how I feel today.  I am not even submitting my eating on My Fitness Pal because it was a JOKE!  I came home after grocery shopping.  Opened up my new Fitbit and sat down to enjoy the learning.  I became so overwhelmed i started searching the cupboards.  "Oooo!  Cheeze Its!  Oooo!  Ice cream!!"  It makes me so mad because I do so good and then that's all it takes.  Then after that I feel so guilty and ashamed and I really beat myself up.

I should just learn from today and move on.  I will, and I do.  WHY do I do this to myself?  FOOD IS THE DEBIL!  I've said it many times and it is true.  I am an emotional eater.  Maybe I should go talk to someone about it?  It's my fall back.  Food is always there.

I drink water, I try to eat fiber and proteins to keep full.  No matter how full I am I will still eat.  I am so bummed about my icky day.  I will make up for it tomorrow!  I plan on running first thing in the morning to help me and maybe a bike ride after work.

I've got to keep at it.  It is a daily struggle with ups and downs.  I just have to stay strong and keep pushing!

~ <3 ~
Me