Same Sweater....New Me....Bad Knee!?

So, I have posted this beauty before in a past blog.  I am mortified I ever let myself get to that point, but what are ya gonna do!?

I was going through drawers trying to find SOMETHING to wear in this cold Ohio weather.  I dove into my sweater drawer.  I need something warm that will fit.  Even if it hangs off me a little bit, I just need it to look somewhat nicely.

As I was going through my drawers I came across this same red sweater.  When I see it, this is the picture I see in my mind.  I almost put it in my donate pile when I thought "The lines on that seem slimming enough....I wonder if it would fit?"

So, I put it on and BAM!  This is how it fit!  I still feel like my face shows my weight, but I realize I have a strong jaw line and chin like my father, so I shouldn't complain.  He is a handsome person :)  I couldn't believe how different I made this sweater look now compared to just a few years ago.

Why did I save it after seeing this picture of me!?  Maybe for a day like this!  I felt amazing in the sweater and it was comfortable.  It was a LITTLE loose, but I felt it still looked somewhat cute! Please no need to tell me any compliments.  I am not fishing for them.  It is just taking time to enjoy this new me!

Now, onto the bad news!  I was doing SO amazing running last week!  I ran Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.  By Thursday I noticed my right shin and my knee were feeling a little pressure.  Friday morning I could barely make it up or down our small flight of 6 steps.

As anyone would do.....instead of contacting my physician I turned to the trusted internet!  The only common explanation I could find was that I bruised my knee or knee cap and that was why it felt like I had a huge air bubble behind my knee cap.  The solution/treatment you ask?  Elevation, ice compress, and Advil.  NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  Did I do something wrong?  I was averaging 13-15,000 steps a day and I was feeling AMAZING!  Was it just too much at one time, or was it my shoes?  I invested in an amazingly supportive pair of running shoes.

I don't know what happened but I am sad.  This has now made me realize to stick with my 3x weekly running with some strength training.  I have GOT to do he strength training!!!  I just need a buddy because doing that by myself at the gym makes me pretty panicky :(

So, to lighten the mood....my old new sweater was a pleasant surprise but my knee is still throbbing *sniffle*.  What is a girl to do!?

~ <3 ~
Me

It felt a-MA-zing!

Running that is!  I burned so many extra calories this morning because I chose to do the "Hill" program on the treadmill.  I chose to do level 5 out of 20 and WOW am I glad I didn't go higher than that :) 

I decided my body needed a change up.  Running 4 miles on a treadmill is easy when you are running flat with no obstacles right!?  I start at a 0 and go to 2.1, 3.4, 4.7.  HOLY SHMOLY!   It actually was easier when I ran faster!  I pushed 5.2mph running uphill and bumped it down to 4.9/5.0 when at 0.  I was SO exhausted that I only made it to 3 miles LoL.  I then did a run/walk combo for that final mile.  I had to finish that 4 miles today some how!  I got at 3.9 and then i broke out into a sprint!  I was seriously burning rubber off my shoes I was going so fast!  It felt amazing and it was JUST what I needed!

I really was starting to freak out last week for fear of a relapse into my old ways, but I did it and I am back!  I did not do my 30DS last night.....I have to do something!  I'll figure it out somehow :) 

As a side note, my daughter starts her dance class this Friday!  She is so excited and I am excited for her!  I will keep you posted!

Ok, I am out of here for a very busy day!  Gotta get in all of my steps! :)

~ <3 ~
Me

Getting Out of A Funk....

A little NSV (Non Scale Victory) from this past weekend!  As the days are becoming colder, I am digging out the warmer clothing.  This shirt I have on used to be so tight I couldn't even stand to have it on.  This year it is becoming "tent-like".  When I say that I mean that they fit to my boobs and literally TENT OUT.  So many of my shirts actually make me look heavier than I really am!

Again, I am not complaining, but I am still wondering what I am going to wear this winter!  My new jeans that are 2 sizes smaller than I used to be are starting to sag off my flattened butt!  Yes, I said flattened.  I don't want a Kardashian butt by any means, but some shape would be nice! :) 

My goal is to start weights.....it scares me because I don't want to lose the momentum I have had going.  Actually I am petrified.  You know me and new things ;)  BUT, I have to do it!  I am almost to that half way point of weight loss and I feel like it's slowing down.  It's partially my fault because I really have been a lazy ass for the past week.  Like REALLY lazy!  It's like the old Me has abducted....well, the new Me!  I want ME back!!!

My eating has been awful, my step counts have been awful.  No exercise.  WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME!?  I understand I will stumble and go backwards in my progress at times, but this is ridiculous!  I feel sluggish and tired.  I am running tomorrow morning and I am dreading it.  I know once I get moving and once I am done I will feel amazing!!!  It is just squashing that inner old me and telling her to butt the hell out of my life and never come back!

Grrrrr she makes me angry.  SO angry!  Why can't that part of me just die already!?  Leave me alone and let me live my new life.  I really need to figure out why I give in so easily.  Sorry.  This post is turning into this raging depressing read.  I apologize.  I just needed to vent.

I will post again tomorrow after my run and let you all know how it goes!

~ <3 ~
Me

Another 5k On The Books

Well, I finished another 5k today!  My Mom ran with me today and MAN is she fast!!  I keep telling her she hustled me with her running time :)

I finished at my personal best of 35:15 (per them) and 35:13 per my Garmin GPS watch.  I had a hard time!  It was a very steep downhill run right off the bat and then the last 1.5 miles was mostly uphill!  I was exhausted, but it kept me going to see my Mom out there in front!

I didn't run Friday which actually put me in a funk the rest of the weekend with my eating!  I was feeling down about not running and I ate through my emotions. 

I felt great today!  I started out a little too fast and had to slow down and pace myself a little more.  I still went faster than my other 5k (obviously).  I got near the finish and my Dad came out to high five us.  I passed him and put it in high gear!  I sprinted to the finish to make sure I beat my time.  When i kicked into sprint mode I chuckled as I heard someone say "Oh my Gosh!"  I mean I was really flying!!

I loved that the race was so early in the morning!  I had the whole rest of the day to enjoy and be outside with our kids!  I guess I don't have much to type!  My brain is kind of empty right now!  OH!  I placed 9th in my division out of 16.  Kind of in the middle there :)  I placed 138 out of I think 212?  That made me happy!  Ok my friends.  Thank you for reading and have an amazing Sunday!!

~ <3 ~
Me

My First 5k!

That's me!!  That's me!!  Just coming up on the finish of my first ever 5k!  I was so nervous and frankly intimidated by the number of people there!  I signed up for this 5k months ago.  I finished my Couch to 5k app in July and have been waiting to do a 5k that doesn't involve just myself :)

It was SUCH an amazing experience!  A friend of ours was nice enough to bring me to the race and hang with me until he passed my slow ass HaHaHa .  We got there early and it was SO cold!  Thank goodness the sun came out.  It wasn't too warm and it wasn't so cold.  It really was perfect running weather!

So the race begins.....everyone is walking to the starting line.  We hit the starting line and BAM we start jogging.  I maintained 11:20-11:40/mi.  I got passed up, and I passed others.  But I kept with MY pace.  My music was blaring in my ears to keep me concentrating on my main goal.  NOT STOPPING!  I just wanted to jog the whole way and never stop to rest or catch my breath.  The last .50mi it was all uphill and I remember reading about the best way to run up hill and I kept pushing.  People were stopping at the water stops but I kept going....it was only 3mi and I never have water at home until I get home.  So off I went!

I started seeing people slowing down, starting to walk.  I refused!  I HAD to keep going!  As I make my way up that last hill my inner demon starts on me "Oh man that was hard, you should slow it down".  I bitch slapped her and pushed myself even harder!  When I heard a man say "Only about 100 yards left everyone!  Keep it up you are doing great" I kicked my ass into gear and got moving!  As I started entering the center of the town the first person I saw was my Mom in her bright blue shirt.  I was so excited and hence my thumbs up shot :)  I pushed and ran to that finish!

So from the time the race even started until I crossed the finish line it was 36:22.  The racing chip on my racing bib started timing me the minute I crossed the start line.  From MY start to finish, I ran my first 5k in 35:17!  Did you read that right!?  Yes you did, and that is what I thought when I saw the number.  When I started my couch to 5k app; the first time I jogged 3.1 mi my time was just under 48:00.  Slowly it has gotten better and my recent best was 35:50.  HOLY CRAP!  That was one hell of an improvement!  The difference?  I paced myself today.  I wasn't exhausted.  I never couldn't catch my breath.  I NEVER STOPPED!  When I am home I always end up stopping and walking because I am trying to run my miles in under 11:00/mi.  I should know better!

So, here I am sitting here....I can't believe it's over already!  I also can't wait for my next 5k in October!  That one I am running with my Mom!  It really was such a rush and I can't believe I did it!  The November 2012 me would have laughed at the idea....the September 2013 me is ready to kick ass and keep moving and stay healthy.  Let's admit it....I feel amazing and I don't look half that bad these days ;)

Thank you all for your support and pushing...Words cannot describe how I am feeling today....Complete and utter joy!

~ <3 ~
Me

Feeling "Bleh" Today

Some days I realize I need to vent and writing on here really helps scare the blues away.  Today is one of those days.  It's gloomy outside with the impending rain (which we need) and I start later at work today.  I am up and about trying to clean the house and do laundry.  I am just not feeling it today!

I am very nervous about my upcoming 5k on Sunday.  I am excited to get to the finish line but I am still nervous.  I clam up and freak out around large groups of people and unfamiliar situations.  I am thankful that a friend will be near me.  He convinced me to do the race!  Still, I am nervous.  I really want to do well on time but I don't want that to be going through my mind while I am running.  In reality I just want to finish the race without feeling like death :)

Yesterday at work was a bit awkward.  There was a small situation with someone there.  I don't like confrontation and enjoy living in my happy bubble where there is no hate....only fluffy clouds and unicorns!  It really rattled my bones.  I don't know why I let stuff stay with me and bother me.  Our office consultant once said "I don't make you feel a certain way.  It is how you make YOURSELF feel when you interpret it".  That is so true!

I really take things personally.  I may not show it when it happens but it sticks with me for quite awhile.  It could be a little jab at me or something to poke fun.  I will laugh and make my quick come back, but unfortunately, I am still sensitive.  I feel like I always had a high self esteem to keep myself up when maybe I didn't have the friends in school, or when I did get picked on.  As an adult.....it's EXHAUSTING!  People tell me I need to speak up and say my mind and when things hurt or bother me to say something.  I am trying.....still growing.....still learning.

My problem is I have such an open heart.  I take everyone in and when something happens to crush that "perfect" thought I am devastated!  So anywho, yesterday at work really rattled me.  My boss is amazing and supported me which I am so thankful for!  He really is an amazing boss....I am very lucky to have landed where I am today.  So, why am I still letting it bother me?  Who knows...I hate it.  I need to pray or meditate or something.  As I get older my anxiety is getting worse.

On the days that I run,  I feel amazing.....maybe I need to start running everyday?  It's my own personal antidepressant/anti-anxiety treatment!  A doctor I USED to see (notice the past tense) tried to put me on an antidepressant for my anxiety and I was a ZOMBIE for at least a month.  I took myself off of it when I realized I was falling asleep in the middle of the floor while I was playing with my kids.  I have to admit that my job then was emotionally and physically draining (mainly due to the boss I had).  Once I found another job that helped 300% and then my running has really given me an outlet.  My Dad keeps telling me to come back to Karate.  I miss it....the physical contact of hitting shit really made me feel great.  I was really involved in high school and it helped me stay fit, flexible, and strong!

I really don't know where this entry is going.  But I figured if I type it out and put it out there....I'll feel better for venting and my readers always offer great support.  I have been reading blogs out there and it is amazing seeing other peoples journeys through their weight loss and healthy living.  So inspiring.  One that resonated was a recent post HERE about how people judge others who are overweight and how they feel about it.  Such an amazing perspective.  I am guilty of it too.  Trying to put on a happy face when inside you are screaming....read up.  It is amazing!

Ok, so don't be worried about me from this post.  I am FINE.  I just needed to vent.  My husband gets an earful of my venting and I figured he needed a break ;)

As a side note, it was freaking HOT yesterday and I decided to go running at 1:30pm....yeah not so smart.  I walked a lot because I started getting chills around my lips and up my spine.  Always freaks me out when it's super hot out and while I am a sweaty mess I start shaking because I am cold....NOT good!  I tried to re run my wk2 day 2 in my 5k-10k app and failed at beating my previous time.  I wasn't surprised just because of the weather conditions.  But I did it until the end and then went further to make sure I finished that 3.1 mi!!!  I run tomorrow again....I may go today.  Just for a mile as a time check to help with my time for Sunday......AHHHH SUNDAY!!!  :)


My Fitbit is great.  The woman at work and I were hard core competing and I gave up.  She always beats me in steps.  But when I run my 3mi I try to burn more calories rather than look at the steps I have.  It always makes me smile when I do hit my 10,000/day though!  I feel like I accomplished something!  Here is a screen shot of my day yesterday.

Pretty good I think!  My best day was like 15,000 something.  That was a day I ran AND cut the grass :)  I felt amazing that day.  SUPER exhausted the next day but still great :)  Can't wait to see how I do today!

Well, enough procrastinating.  I have GOT to get some stuff done today!!  Have an amazing day everyone and thanks so much for letting me vent!  I feel so much better :)

~ <3 ~
Me

Recovering From Vacation

I know I haven't been posting, and the reason was that we went on our first family vacation!  We left on Labor Day and headed to the Smokey Mountains in Tennessee.  It was wonderful....hot and muggy, but nice!  I think the kids were a little young for this trip as they didn't have much to do so they got a bit bored no matter what we tried.

I was petrified!  I didn't run all week.  I TRIED to keep up with my good eating and failed except for our last day there because I was mostly in the car.  Couldn't keep up with my steps!  I honestly felt depressed and down.  I was lazy this week and my body was telling me!  I can't do that!

Surprisingly enough, I weighed myself last night right before bed (mistake #1).  Mistake #2 was that I even bothered to weigh myself after our vacation HaHaHa.  I did it anyways and my weight was the same!!  Still 20lbs down!  I couldn't believe it!

This, I can honestly say, is the first picture I have seen of myself where I didn't think "Oh wow I look HUGE!".  My husband has told me I am looking great.  My Mom has been telling me that I am looking great.....everyone has said something small or big in the same sense that I am looking better.  For the first time.....ME!!!  I FINALLY see it!  I plan on taking my new picture this weekend and posting my before and after for my 20lb loss.  I am PETRIFIED to compare but excited all at the same time.

My Fitbit numbers have been awful.  I spend two full days in a car and the other days we were really only walking so often.  BUT we enjoyed ourselves!

Starting fresh today!  My eating is better...i COULD be more active, but I am getting there :)  I am watching some incredible motivators.  Through their blogs, on My Fitness Pal , in life.  They really are inspirations, so thank you to all of you for keeping me on my toes and healthy!  You all being on my case really is great!!

Ok, I just wanted to touch base, I will try to post more soon!  Thank you for reading :)

~ <3 ~
Me

Nothing Wrong With A Little Protein

Oh yes my friends.  This was me tonight!  Over the weekend I decided to start the 5k-to-10k program.  I love the iPhone app by Active HERE .  They have it for Android devices as well!  So, today was SO muggy that my skin was dripping just from the damp air.  As I was running, and nearing the end of my run, I got SLAMMED in the face by a swarm of little bugs!  UGGHH!!  ICK!!! BLEECCCHHH!!  Now, a little protein never hurt anyone, but it is still gross :)

Now I know I always talk about my Fitbit, but now I love it more than ever!  I really push myself to stay as active as possible!  Another gal at work has one and we decided to become friends on Fitbit and "compete".  W-O-W!  Was that the best idea ever!  We are the talk of the office because we constantly check our numbers and see where the other one is.  She told me before I left today "Don't go running tonight....take a night off and relax".  She knew my running tacks on 2,000-6,000 steps.  But I am LOVING it!  Friendly competition which keeps us active and healthy!  We take our challenge right up until bed time HaHaHa!

Ok, so here was my screen shot from tonight...and yes, I am sitting on the couch now :)

I LOVE being able to see in color and graphs how I am doing and progressing.  I don't use the calorie count of just my steps.  Only my work outs.  Only when my heart rate is up for 20mins+.  Maybe I should, but I just can't do it.

I also decided to do some Zumba on our PS3 tonight.  Just getting some extra steps and keeping the heart rate up!  Our daughter joined me as well and she was hilarious.  She just makes me laugh the whole time which I am sure helps burn those calories!

I just have to remind myself to keep moving!  If I don't I become a couch potato again.  Sitting and watching TV from 6pm-10pm....it disgusts me how lazy I used to be.  I am so thankful for that moment of motivation that got my a$$ off the couch running a 5k and now again to running a 10k distance soon!  I feel amazing (some days I am still tired) but mostly amazing! :)

As a side note, a friend got motivated to start the couch to 5k program and she started and did amazing!  I hope she sticks with it because she is super psyched about it!

So, my motivational moment is still to just get moving!  If you find yourself sitting all night, go for a walk!  Lap the house!  Something!  ANYTHING!!  There are no excuses!

~ <3 ~
Me

Humans never cease to amaze....

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Seriously, the human race never ceases to amaze me.  I was very productive this morning and had time to start my 5k to 10k app.  Off I went.  Feeling good to start my new goal for the day.  As I make my way around our block I hear a faint noise.  I decide to turn down my music to take a listen and I hear a young boy screaming from somewhere "Keep running fatty!  You're so fat!".  I didn't turn around, and I just keep on trucking forward.  It didn't hurt me or my feelings.  It made me agry.  At his parents!

Growing up, we picked on kids.  I was even picked on a bit, but it is NOTHING like the kids these days.  Call it bullying, call it picking on someone.  Whatever you call it, it is wrong.  I don't understand how parents can allow their children to behave like this.  NOW, mind you something to think about is "Where did they learn it from?".  Some can say TV, some can say video games, music.  You know what I say?  PARENTS!  Parents need to start taking responsibility of their children.  Molding them into loving caring human beings.  Faith and religion in their lives is a whole different blog post that I will allow some other daring soul to endure.  I have my feelings and I am sure you all have yours on that as well.

Back on track.  Kids these days are not taught to respect people.  They are rude, vile little things and it saddens me that our children will soon be put into school with these kids.  Now, I know it isn't ALL kids, but wow is it a lot.

So, my PSA for today is.... Parents: Please teach your children about love, and respect.  Teach them to treat others the way they would like to be treated.  Teach them how to TALK to people instead of staring at their phones all the time (yes I am guilty of this and am trying to break the habit for my own kids).  Teach them to strive for goals and successes in life.  Kids these days have no direction and it is because we don't expect things from them any more.  They need responsibility and and expectations.

I know every child is different, but we can teach them how to be nice!  I mean sheesh it is pretty simple!

As a side note, I completed Week1 Day1 of my 5k-10k program and cut our front and back lawn as well.  Lots of steps already from my fitbit!

I have been pretty busy today, but that is good.  I have been a lazy bum the last few days :)  I am loving my Fitbit by the way.  It really let me know that I WASN'T moving as much as I thought I did at work!  It has been amazing.  I am a very visual person, so all of the grafts they use really keep me motivated and keep me seeing how I am doing.  I got mine super cheap on eBay!  Just do a search for a used one!  That's what I did!

Ok, enough of my product placement :)  Have an amazing day and enjoy everything and everyone!  Peace and love my friends.....peace and love ;)

~ <3 ~
Me

Pull Up People!

So...When people have ALL this space in front of their garage, yet THIS is where they choose to park!  It isn't SO much of an inconvenience when I am running.  It IS an inconvenience for our 4 year old daughter who just started riding her first bike with training wheels.  I mean COME ON people!!  I honestly can say that she fell twice while trying to get around multiple driveways.  It's just so silly!  It makes me want to do this:

Yes, I think that would make me feel better :)

So on our bike ride, we went for just over 3 miles.  Our daughter was so exhausted and sweaty.  I was a bit worn myself but it was a slow pace so it wasn't so awful :)  I looked at my monthly work out calendar on Map My Run  I have been busy, but not as busy as usual!

At least the biking has made up for the lack of running.  Well, sort of.  My improved time last night has really made me want to push myself.  I read in my Runners World magazine they say for the 5k to pace yourself to start out how fast you want to end I believe.  I started to do just 1 mile runs to work on improving my time, and maybe it helped?  I don't know!  I will have to see if it does.

Our kids are napping so I figured I would have some blog time this afternoon since I plan on being busy the rest of the weekend.  I plan on, after the kids go to bed tonight, to go online and find some good recipes to try.  We need to start eating better dinners too.  It's hard for us because working full time I get home later and I refuse to eat dinner at 7pm so I am thankful that my husband helps out as much as he does.  I want to find some easy quick recipes.  If any of you have any recipes to recommend, please email them to me!  HappyMommyHealthyLife@outlook.com

Have an amazing weekend everyone!

~ <3 ~
Me

Run It Out!

 

Well, this was the result of my run yesterday!  I had to get out there and do it already.  I have gone twice for just 1mi to work on my speed/time.  I started at 10:40 and the second time I did 10:38 I believe.  I also have been doing some biking with my kids which includes me pulling a small canvas trailer with my almost 30lb son in it. :)

Back on track!  I did 3.1mi in 35:55!  My lowest time by far!  I started at 40:17 and went down to 38:04 as my best.  I can't believe I shaved almost 3 minutes off of my time!  I felt amazing when I got back.  Very sore just because it's been awhile since I ran the full 3.1.  I think I tried to avoid it!

 This was a screen shot from my Fitbit app on my phone.  By the time I went to bed I had over 12,000 steps!!  Now I don't count the "fitness calories" it claculates based on my steps to determine my eating calories.  I just feel like unless my heart rate is up for 20+ it isn't enough to consider.  So I only take into account my TRUE calories burned.  Like my running, or biking, or walking.  I feel like I will over eat.

This is my current BMI.  The day it gets into the green I will be jumping around screaming for joy!  I am just glad to be out of the obese section.  One of the ladies I work with I also became friends with on My Fitness Pal and we were talking about my blog and my Before and Now blog post.  The other ladies at work seemed interested so I showed them my pictures.  Since they see me everyday they notice I'm slimming down, but didn't think I was that big!  It was nice to see responses.

My eating is still a daily struggle.  It will always be.  I am not sure if it will ever get easier or if I will be fighting my cravings and my inner food demons forever.  I am hoping it goes away one day, but until then I guess I just need to stay active.

My next item up for discussion is the start of weight training.  I know I need to do it to tone up and slim down.  I just don't know what to do.  My Mom made herself a list of things to do on the days she doesn't run.  Maybe she will make me a copy :)

Thanks for reading!  What are some of your newest accomplishments.  Whether it be fitness or in life?  Hope you are all doing well and you have a happy, safe, healthy weekend!

~ <3 ~
Me

Little Miss Busy Feet

Yep!  See that?  I have over 10,000 steps going for today!  I am loving my Fitbit !  It is so interesting to see how active I am or am not and when I am most active.  I cannot lie that my FAVORITE part so far is the sleep tracker!  Really interesting to see how I slept last night.

Anywho, today was a busy day!  After the kids went to their babysitters I came home and went NUTS on our house!  I cleaned from floor to ceiling, vacuumed and steamed the floors.  I even ran the steamer over the one room of carpet we have to freshen it up.  I was super sweaty and knew I was burning those fatty pieces I just love so much :)

I know this is supposed to be a blog about my journey but I had to share a personal story.  Our doggy broke her tooth!!  She has to be sedated tomorrow to have it taken out.  Our poor furry baby!

I can't wait until it is over and we can bring her home!

OK, so back on topic.  I had a decent day today.  After my horrible eating yesterday, I won't lie that today was hard!  I felt that familiar pull towards wanting to eat everything i saw today.  Once i was sitting on the couch all I wanted was ice cream.  I was literally screaming at myself in my mind to shut the heck up and deal.  I drank more water hoping that would help.  I still want it....I do! 

I plan on running my 3.1mi again.  I HAVE to get back on track!  I finished my couch to 5k app and just fell off the wagon.  I was doing so good with it too!  I can't give up!  I have come so far!  My official 4 months weigh in/photo shoot takes place soon and I am excited yet nervous.  I see the difference in older pictures but some days I don't feel like I look different.  I don't want to be model skinny with all my breakable bones hanging out.  I just want to look healthy and toned. 

That is where I will leave this post as I plan on getting into my weights and my experience with Jillian Michaels sometime soon.  Have an amazing day or night (depending on where you live) and thank you again for reading!  Loving the support and knowing people are out there!

~ <3 ~
Me