Seduced By Fitness

I told them that I wouldn't forget them.  I told them that "One day when the mood strikes....I WILL have my way with you".  Today....was....that....day....

It was a decent day.  The sun was shining and it was finally warmer than 38*F.  I got out of work; ran an errand; came home.  The whole way home, the sun was teasing me with it's warm caress.  The wind died down almost begging me to enjoy it. 

I couldn't see them at first, but when I got home I heard them calling my name.

I walked over and gently touched the laces....they giggled a bit.  I said "Today I am in the mood and I hope you are ready".  They were aroused at the thought of what we would do and where we would go.  I left them panting while I changed.  I got my coat on.  I put my ear warmers on (which I got for christmas and also double as headphones!  THANKS MOM AND DAD!!).  I slipped my coat on and got my GPS and music ready.

They were last.  They knew they would be.  I loosed the laces and slowly slipped into them.  It was a snug fit, but it felt amazing.  I tightened up the laces and took a quick walk around the house.  I missed that feeling.  I was awakened by it and felt my inner need to start what I had set out to do.


RUN!

Yeah, I am the next E.L. James right???  BAHAHAHAHAHA

So, off I went.  I was so nervous to run since I haven't gone since what, before Thanksgiving!?  So as I am running I almost talk myself out of it.  "It's too cold" "My feet feel funny" "My legs are already sore" "My arms feel awkward".  However, as quickly as I thought those things, they drifted away while I listened to my playlist, kept my head up, hands relaxed and started to run.

I hit the first mile and started to slow down.  I was used to running 3+ days a week and I haven't ran in 2 months!  I kept pushing and at one point I was running at 13:02 and got pissed.  I picked up the pace and made it back home at 2.10 miles.   I knew I had to start off slow, so I stopped and walked another mile.  I could have ran, but I knew not to push it.  I ran a mile at work Tuesday and was a little sore Wednesday.  I don't even want to know how I will feel tomorrow :)

So I came home, put my shoes away again.  I looked back and reassured them that I would be more

gentle next time, but they needed to be prepared to go a little longer.  It may be months before I run outside again, but it felt amazing and I FEEL AMAZING!  It was what I needed to get back into it!

Tomorrow is 30 Day Shred with Jillian Michaels and I KNOW she is going to work me hard ;)

~ <3 ~
Me

A Little Barry White??

I know I have been absent from here lately and that is because I have been absent from everything!  My eating healthy and my fitness goals.  I did snag this quick "selfie" today while cleaning.  I am starting to feel more comfortable in my body!

I got on the scale this morning and I did gain 1lb :(  I mean it could have been worse!!  I am still disappointed in myself.  I did decide to go running during my lunch on Mondays.  Just a quick 2 miles so I am not too gross and sweaty when I am done.  They don't have showers at the gym and I can't give myself a sponge bath when I get back to work LoL.  I need to find a good body cleansing cloth that I can use.

So back on topic today.  It gets a little personal, so if you are easily offended or uncomfortable stop reading :)  Now, I don't know about you other ladies....or men for that matter.  When my husband and I first got married, things were amAzing in the passion department.  We had our daughter and things continued going strong.  Always intense and exciting.  Then we hit a wall when our son was born.  Like literally a brick and stone wall....completely solid.  Mind you, our son is 2 1/2 now.  I can honestly say not until the past few months have things started getting back to normal again!

My husband would NEVER tell me anything bad about my weight.  He never looks at other women or comments about their bodies.  Well, except for Carrie Underwood, but that is allowed.  So he never made me feel less than or not good enough.  It was all mental for me.  I was uncomfortable with who I was.  I was uncomfortable in the skin I was in.  I wasn't confident.  I felt awkward.  I felt huge.  I felt fat.  I felt disgusting.  I didn't feel sexy or attractive.  I felt ugly.  My husband never made me feel this way....EVER!   This is how I felt about myself. 

As I am noticing my curvy hips and my favorite.....my clavicle (collar bone), I am feeling beautiful!  I am more confident with my body and what I do with it.  I am sure my husband is appreciative of this too HAHAHAHA.  It has made a HUGE difference in our relationship.  More passion....crazy, right!?  I am not hesitant when we are together.  The excitement is back.  I am excited about being intimate with my husband with this revamped body of mine!

Another huge help has been my friend Yurisa.  We got back in touch through FB.  It had been YEARS since we ever talked.  BFB4L Yo (She'll understand what that means).  ANYWAY!  She has really gotten me into trying different types of clothing and even more recently things to do with makeup.  My beauty guru.  When I put the time in (when i have the time) it knocks that confidence through the roof.  Her support through our friendship has been immense, but her newest tips have really helped put the icing on the cake so to say.  Thanks girl!

Some people who are heavier MAY be comfortable in their skin.  To them I say I am happy for you and good for you all.  It just wasn't for me!  I am enjoying the new me, and my husband might be too!  HAHA.  In regards to the title about Barry White....it's an inside joke with my family that if you hear Barry White playing don't come barging in because things MIGHT be going on LoL  I love my family :)  So, in conclusion (I now feel like I am finalizing my English paper for school) if you are comfortable and confident in the skin you are in, congrats and much love to you.  If you are not, there is always room for self improvement.  Just be sure to do it for yourself and not for someone else.  Who cares what everyone else thinks.  It is about how you feel about yourself and the way you look!

~ <3 ~
Me

Holy Weight Loss Batman!

I have done fairly well this week!  Just earlier in the week I documented a 2lb loss.  And yesterday I lost another pound!  I was ecstatic!  I felt like I really was moving and couldn't figure out why!  I looked back at my food logging and realized 2 things.

First, I wasn't eating very much sugar....which has really given me a bit of energy!  Second, I have been eating 1600 calories instead of the 1400 that I have my goal set to.  Now, I don't know if this is  the reason or a fluke or what the deal is, but I am kind of testing the waters.  At 1400 calories, I have never felt like I was starving or hungry.  But when I hit the 1600 calories I didn't have the urges to snack!  I will keep you posted on my new study.

Yesterday I started some shopping for two outfits for the weekend.  I got a cute sweater from a store called Maurices.  I also was able to buy a size 14 jean in my favorite Style & Co brand from Macy's!  I love their jeans because it helps with my "Mommy tummy".  So while I was there, I tried on some dresses!

First I couldn't believe that I was even fitting into a 12!  A SIZE 12!!!!  It was incredible!  This dress here was just a dress I HAD to try on.  It looked gorgeous on the rack and back in May I wouldn't have even considered trying this gorgeous thing on.

For the first time ever I thought "Daaaaaaaaaamn girl you looking good!"  Now I am sure there are people out there who wouldn't agree or who feel maybe I am not "small enough" to fit into a dress like this.  You know what?  Screw you!  I felt amazing :)

My plan is to get this dress for a wedding next year.  It will be my coming out dress and I will look and feel incredible!

My next gial is to REALLY get some weights in my regimen.  I am noticing my arms and legs and tummy just aren't catching up with the rest of my loss and I am noticing.  They are the last parts changing and it is frustrating, but I know it takes time.  I just don't want floppy arms after I lose my weight!

It's just a matter of getting it done.  I just don't know how to get started or what to do!  BLAH!  I just gotta do it!  Ok my friends!  I have a super busy weekend ahead with a lot of food coming my way, but I WILL keep up with it!

As a side note, my Wheat wrap, chicken, sundried tomato hummus sandwiches have been AMAZING!  All of the extra protein is helping to keep me feeling full so I don't devour everything in the cupboard!  Stay safe to all the other food addicts out there.....I know it's tough!!

~ <3 ~
Me

Proof of Losing

I have been DREADING this post for awhile.  I was nervous, scared, excited, proud.  SUCH a mixture of emotions I just didn't know if I should even do it!  BUT, here it is!

 May 2013 - 200 lbs - lazy, tired, exhausted.  I felt awful about my body and had nothing to wear!

This is today; September 2013 - 180 lbs - active, running, energetic, confident.  I am still not comfortable with my body, BUT I feel better about it :)

A lot of my weight is in my stomach/hips/thighs.  I recently joined a gym for winter time and I plan on running my 3x a week, but also doing weights 2x a week.  They offer one free training session that I PLAN on taking advantage of.  Or finding someone to help me while I am there!

The after picture just makes me smile.  If you could see my face in these pictures, you can see my expressions.  the 200 lb me was frowing....slouching....sad.  You could just see how miserable I was.  And as the pictures have progressed (I have slacked at doing my monthly photos, but have tried) I can see the change.  I stand up straighter, my smile is wider.  I am more confident!

So again....thank you to ALL who have been so supportive!  I run my first 5k in one week and I would be lying if I didn't say I was PETRIFIED!  I don't do well in unfamiliar places.  My anxiety kicks in full force!  It starts at 10:30 am but we have to register at 8:30am....I don't want to wait!  LoL

Wish me luck, and YES I will have pictures to share.  Have a great Sunday everyone!

~ <3 ~
Me

A Huge Milestone Today!!!

WHAT!?  Am I reading this right!?  Is my scale playing it's mind tricks on me again!?

NOPE!  I got on the scale this morning and BAM!  I was down 2 lbs!  I have finally hit my halfway point!  I lost 20 lbs.  I got rid of 20 lbs of self hate, depression, and un-healthyness.  I NEVER want to go back there ever again!!

Thats just under what our son weighs!  I got rid of a small child in weight!  I have gotten close at times to this, but it happened quickly and then i gained it back.  This time I have worked hard and stuck with a plan.  I do have an amazing support system.

My husband has been amazing while I ditch him in the evenings to go out running.  My Mom and Dad have been super supportive.  I can't even begin to tell you all the friends that have been a huge support with all of this.  Especially my friend Sarah.  She helped drive me in the beginning and helped push me to do things I didn't think I could do.  If you read this girlie....thank you <3

You truly need every aspect of your life to be ready for such a huge change in your life.  Your SELF, your family, your friends.  Thank you all for helping me in becoming the new "Me".  The better and healthier "Me".  The sexier "Me" ;)

I was reading a blog where the woman named her scale.  I shall name mine Johnny after my c25k Zombie trainer.  And after Johnny 5...i LOVE those movies ;)  Althought when it makes me mad, I am sure I will have a few choice names for him teeheehee.

I am having an out of sorts week next week and am hoping to continue the streak of goodness!  Thanks to everyone out there who has been so supportive and hopefully I can help you as you have helped me!

~ <3 ~
Me

My Personal Best

Well, I did it!  I ran tonight. What was different?  I was able to run a mile in 10:40!!!  I stopped twice equaling almost a minute, but I DID IT!!!  My goal is to get faster more than increasing my distance. 3.1 or even 4 miles is plenty. 

I wish I could go back and show my former self and tell her "See!?  This is the life you could have. To feel good. To not be out of breath from playing with the kids. To feel good about yourself in your own skin. Even your kids notice!  Your daughter encourages you to exercise so you can 'be healthy'.  Your husband even noticed how wonderful you look and said something about it!  Your self esteem is up. You are no longer depressed. You have an amazing job that you finally enjoy. You are surrounded by amazing people who love you and who support you. Can't you see that YOU ARE WORTH IT!?"

You know what?  I AM worth it!  For me, my kids, my husband, my family and my friends. To be with them and to enjoy being with them instead of being a bump on a log. Screw that woman. I am so glad to leave those bad things behind. This is MY TIME, and it feels freaking amazing!  I have proven that anyone can do it!  There are no excuses and there will never be the perfect time to change your life. You just have to DO IT!

So, get up off your butts and go for walks with your kids or your dog. Just go alone to have some meditation time to reflect on your day and to thank God for the life you have :). You don't have to start running or walk for miles. Start small and work your way up. You will be amazed at what you can accomplish!

~ <3 ~

Me