My First 10k!

It is official!  The Rite Aid Cleveland Marathon; Half Marathon; 10k!  Today was my day to add another milestone into my journey.  I'll tell you something....I almost didn't even go.  My anxiety got SO bad yesterday that I really almost decided it would be worse dealing with my anxiety than running at all.  BOY was I glad I stuck it out.

I followed my friend Kelly there and we got there and it was FREEZING!!!  Super windy and freaking cold!  We hopped and stepped around trying to keep our bodies warm as best we could.  The national anthem was sung (by an amazing woman who obviously was a country singer) and off we went.  It took probably 10-15 minutes for us to finally hit that starting line.

Once I hit the line, I was off (and obviously started the timer on my Garmin GPS watch).  Kelly and I had agreed that if one of us fell behind to just keep going and we would meet at the finish line.  At one point I lost her as she weaved through the people and then I was on my own.  Music blaring and feet jogging along the streets of Cleveland.

I kept looking at my wrist seeing how far I had been running and see that 1 mile come up.  "WOW that was fast!"  I was keeping an 11:16 mile and I was happy with that.  Next I hit the 2 mile 11:39 "Ok, pace yourself but speed up a little".  I hit the 3 mile and realize "HOLY CRAP I just ran 3 miles in under 35 minutes!"  It was my best time yet!  The fastest I had ever gone was 35:15 I believe last year.  I hit 4.5 miles and say "Wow I am practically done!" and then 5 miles hits.

As we came back we went over a bridge but most of the way was uphill.  I can't tell you how many times I talked myself out of walking.  I figured I would just slow it down a bit to catch my breath and then pick it all back up again.  I hit 6 and thought "Where the hell is the finish line!?"  That kind of threw me off because Garmin said I went 6.3 miles, but I kept going!


 SO, here comes the finish line...I even feel myself slow up a little bit.  Then BAM!  I run so fast I feel like my legs will fall off or I may puke and I pass up others just to get to that finish line!

Here is my official time from the chip on my racing bib.  I have to say I did better than I thought I would!  When running at home I did 1:27 and that included me walking a bit up some pretty steep hills.  I couldn't be more happy with the time.  In all honesty, I am just glad I never stopped to walk!

As I was going through my info on Map My Fitness and looked at the break down of my miles, at some points it says I was doing like a 9 minute mile (must have been those downhill moments while I caught my breath).  Either way I couldn't believe I had done it and that I had made it!

I finished strong, grabbed a water, grabbed my banana and sat down in the grass to stretch it out!  I met back up with Kelly (who did amazing btw beating me with her time!) and we just sat and of course took our post race SELFIIIIIEEEEE!!!

Why can I never just smile....I have to make these ridiculous freaky faces.  Anywho, We walked back to the cars and I got in and headed home.  I was so thankful she was there to help me with my anxiety.  I told her she probably thinks I am a psychopath....but she ran with me anyways ;)

I was able to run into some family and friends at the race and everyone did amazing!!  I was glad I completed my goal of fully running a 10k.  No stopping, 6.2 (Garmin said 6.3) miles, showing the world what one can accomplish when we are determined and when we put our mind (and body) to the test!

So, thank you Kelly for not weirding out on me and being an amazing friend!  Hey remember when we used to play soccer together on our co-ed team!?  Life brings you back together for a reason and YOU my friend really helped me today!

I am so blessed and thankful and proud of myself for what I was able to do.  Again showing others what can be done when you want to change your life into a healthy and active one!

This will be the longest I ever would want to run, so no, I am not going to train for a half marathon or full marathon.....I am totally ok with my 10k!  Maybe one day I will change my mind, but for now I am all good ;)  Thanks for reading and have an amazing weekend everyone!  I am relaxing and then will be celebrating my birthday with my in-laws today.  Keeping it low key before I hit the big 32 tomorrow!  EEP!

~ <3 ~
Me

One Year Ago

One year ago a family friend helped change my life forever.  I no longer wanted to be THAT person.  I wanted to live life and enjoy it.  I wanted to get off my lazy ass and be with my family.  I wanted the energy so that when my kids wanted to run around and play I didn't say "Mommy is tired" or "Mommy doesn't feel good".  Seeing the disappointment in their faces and hearing their sighs......that is something I never want to go back to.

In my journey I have had my ups and downs....My weight has still fluctuated and even after the holidays I haven't gotten back into that groove.  I am working on it but just haven't gotten there yet.  The way the old me felt....I don't wish that on anyone....EVER!  No one should ever go through life feeling the way I did.

I felt like I didn't matter.  I felt like I wasn't a priority and that I wasn't important.  I felt worthless.  I felt ugly.  I felt fat.  I was itching in the skin I was wearing and somewhere deep down in me I still had a voice telling me I could do it if I wanted to.  There isn't a moment that goes by that I don't FEAR going back to that old "Me".  I am petrified.  I have seen friends and family struggle....do well and go back.  Maintaining is what I fear.  It is my own fault for not sticking with my healthy eating.  These feelings of self loathing weren't caused by anyone other than my inner feelings about myself...but as my health got better, so did my attitude.

It isn't just about me now though.  I need to get my family healthy.  This yearly journey I have lost 24 lbs and as of today have only lost under 20 total.  I have been changing things up and started seeing an amazing trainer who has really been pushing me and giving me different things to try fitness wise.  I notice I am slimming down so I am praying it's muscle I am building.  STILL my eating needs reigned in a bit.

I have learned so much in a year and have made such amazing life long friends and connections as well as growing closer with those around me.

To my Mom and Dad....thank you!  Your motivation means the world to me and your support has been incredible.  All of your advice Mom has been so amazing and I am so blessed to have you in my life....FOREVER ;)

To my husband Ryan....you have allowed me to take time for ME and focus on ME.  I love you so much and it grows stronger everyday.  You truly are my rock and support and I wouldn't be able to do this without you backing me up 100% (even if you do ice cream runs sometimes) You have motivated me and even when I was at my lowest you always made me feel beautiful and loved.  You truly are my soul mate and you are stuck with me babe <3

To my children....your existence has motivated me to become a healthier Mommy so that I can be here and stay strong through whatever life throws at me.  I want to be there through your milestones and see your children grow one day.  You are the reason Mommy changed....to be around....to be your Mommy!

To Yurisa...Our friendship has pulled me through some dark times and motivated me through the bright times.  You have helped me gain confidence in other ways to help me in my journey.  Your shoulder to cry on and your ears for listening have saved me more than you know.  I am so blessed that you are a part of my life even though I wish it would have been sooner than it was.  You are an amazing and strong woman and your friendship to me words cannot describe how much it means to me.  BFBFL <3

To Eva....having your friendship and support has been priceless!  You keep me in line and motivate me with your own journey.  No matter what the future holds I do hope that our friendship stays true and strong.  Thank you for everything.

To Sarah....Your recommendation of couch to 5k is what got me going and all of your fitness and food support has been amazing.  Thank you for taking the time to spend guiding me and helping me through this journey.  I feel like I harass you so much but you are so kind and thoughtful and amazing.  You were with me the first time I ran 3.1 miles at home and I will never forget it!

To my trainer Tommy....Not that you will read this...maybe you will.  I know our time together has been short, but your confidence in me and the ability to know how I function has been so helpful...here is to many more weeks of training and changes!

To my barefoot shuffling friend, Karen....I know you are always there for me to get me off my butt and out on the road!  Thanks for keeping me motivated!

To Joyce....You truly helped me realize that this was what I needed to do.  I am so thankful!  Because of what happened, you truly saved my life!  I am forever grateful and blessed that you helped me realize what I was doing to myself and helped me start my journey.

I know I am forgetting people.....to all of my friends to read this or share it or just listen to me vent...thank you!  When I hear someone say "You motivated me" I still can't believe I could do that for someone but I am so blessed that I am able to help others through my journey as others have helped me.

Happy 1 year of a changed lifestyle and here is to at least 40 more ;)

Milestones:
Lost 20lbs
Ran my first 5k 9/15/13 in 35:17
Ran my second 5k 10/13/13 in 35:13

Will be running my first 10k May 18th!!

 BEFORE     203 lbs

NOW   183 lbs

~ <3 ~
Me