In my journey I have had my ups and downs....My weight has still fluctuated and even after the holidays I haven't gotten back into that groove. I am working on it but just haven't gotten there yet. The way the old me felt....I don't wish that on anyone....EVER! No one should ever go through life feeling the way I did.
I felt like I didn't matter. I felt like I wasn't a priority and that I wasn't important. I felt worthless. I felt ugly. I felt fat. I was itching in the skin I was wearing and somewhere deep down in me I still had a voice telling me I could do it if I wanted to. There isn't a moment that goes by that I don't FEAR going back to that old "Me". I am petrified. I have seen friends and family struggle....do well and go back. Maintaining is what I fear. It is my own fault for not sticking with my healthy eating. These feelings of self loathing weren't caused by anyone other than my inner feelings about myself...but as my health got better, so did my attitude.
It isn't just about me now though. I need to get my family healthy. This yearly journey I have lost 24 lbs and as of today have only lost under 20 total. I have been changing things up and started seeing an amazing trainer who has really been pushing me and giving me different things to try fitness wise. I notice I am slimming down so I am praying it's muscle I am building. STILL my eating needs reigned in a bit.
I have learned so much in a year and have made such amazing life long friends and connections as well as growing closer with those around me.
To my Mom and Dad....thank you! Your motivation means the world to me and your support has been incredible. All of your advice Mom has been so amazing and I am so blessed to have you in my life....FOREVER ;)
To my husband Ryan....you have allowed me to take time for ME and focus on ME. I love you so much and it grows stronger everyday. You truly are my rock and support and I wouldn't be able to do this without you backing me up 100% (even if you do ice cream runs sometimes) You have motivated me and even when I was at my lowest you always made me feel beautiful and loved. You truly are my soul mate and you are stuck with me babe <3
To my children....your existence has motivated me to become a healthier Mommy so that I can be here and stay strong through whatever life throws at me. I want to be there through your milestones and see your children grow one day. You are the reason Mommy changed....to be around....to be your Mommy!
To Yurisa...Our friendship has pulled me through some dark times and motivated me through the bright times. You have helped me gain confidence in other ways to help me in my journey. Your shoulder to cry on and your ears for listening have saved me more than you know. I am so blessed that you are a part of my life even though I wish it would have been sooner than it was. You are an amazing and strong woman and your friendship to me words cannot describe how much it means to me. BFBFL <3
To Eva....having your friendship and support has been priceless! You keep me in line and motivate me with your own journey. No matter what the future holds I do hope that our friendship stays true and strong. Thank you for everything.
To Sarah....Your recommendation of couch to 5k is what got me going and all of your fitness and food support has been amazing. Thank you for taking the time to spend guiding me and helping me through this journey. I feel like I harass you so much but you are so kind and thoughtful and amazing. You were with me the first time I ran 3.1 miles at home and I will never forget it!
To my trainer Tommy....Not that you will read this...maybe you will. I know our time together has been short, but your confidence in me and the ability to know how I function has been so helpful...here is to many more weeks of training and changes!
To my barefoot shuffling friend, Karen....I know you are always there for me to get me off my butt and out on the road! Thanks for keeping me motivated!
To Joyce....You truly helped me realize that this was what I needed to do. I am so thankful! Because of what happened, you truly saved my life! I am forever grateful and blessed that you helped me realize what I was doing to myself and helped me start my journey.
I know I am forgetting people.....to all of my friends to read this or share it or just listen to me vent...thank you! When I hear someone say "You motivated me" I still can't believe I could do that for someone but I am so blessed that I am able to help others through my journey as others have helped me.
Happy 1 year of a changed lifestyle and here is to at least 40 more ;)
Milestones:
Lost 20lbs
Ran my first 5k 9/15/13 in 35:17
Ran my second 5k 10/13/13 in 35:13
Will be running my first 10k May 18th!!
BEFORE 203 lbs
NOW 183 lbs
~ <3 ~
Me
NOW 183 lbs
~ <3 ~
Me
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