I feel this way more lately than I should. I haven't been running....I haven't been OVER eating....just eating junk. I feel like this sign is just flashing in front of my eyes lately. I could list my excuses and reasons. Thanksgiving hit, my knee hurt....I wish I would have realized I just needed new shoes. I wish I would have done better with my eating during the holidays....so many regrets.
I started my 5k-10k app and was doing well. HOWEVER.....my trainer has been less than helpful. I get a decent work out on my training day, but then I am SO SORE the rest of the weekend that I feel useless. SO, I have decided to look into another alternative. A patient of mine recommended a friend of hers. He went to college specifically for personal training. Weight and diet management. I spoke with him on the phone and just felt such a strong draw to use him as part of my training.
I go this wednesday morning and I am really excited about it. Nervous, yet excited.
The reason for this blog post was an email that FREAKED me out! I have only 10 weeks until my first 10k! Holy crap! 10 weeks!? Seriously!? I am in full anxiety and panic mode here my friends! Seriously 10 weeks and I can barely run 5 miles!
I guess I am just in a depressed funk tonight and I can't shake it. I have the rest of my goal weight to get to and I just feel so lost and so confused. I feel like it's impossible! I am in serious need of anxiety medication tonight....and no I don't have any but I wish I did. My mind is racing and I feel so panicky!
Yes, I have my moments, and I am having such a hard time tonight. Thanks for reading and I am in need of major support my friends! I need a lot of support and encouragement and a cheering section right now!
~ <3 ~
Me
Breathe, my running friend......
ReplyDeleteYou are NOT a failure!! The FACT that you are stressed about your "not so perfect" choices proves that you still give a shit about your journey....failing would be not caring at all. Your anxiety is a good thing!! It feels horrible....thus, motivating you to take action.
I witnessed, first hand, you running 4 miles. You could have gone 2.2 more, I know it. It may not have been your fastest time, nor may you have been feeling wonderful afterwards...but you CAN ALREADY go 6.2 miles.....there is no need to stress about your upcoming race :) (which, by the way, you are going to ROCK at!) Ten weeks is still a long way away....plenty of time to recommit to running and increasing speed and endurance...and once you get into that atmosphere, you will be able to do wonderful things! :)
So.....breathe.....
Spring is coming....warm weather ...sun....and motivation to get outside and move. No anxiety meds needed ;) Just be patient with yourself...this has been a really rough season and we are all feeling a bit stir crazy :)
Just keep on caring....and you will be ok :)
You are far from a failure!! Girl you have such a busy life and you are allowed set backs! You need to set yourself some mini goals with little rewards. The weather is gonna get better, so soon you'll be able to get outside. I wish I was there to work out with you, we'd be great buddies!! I can still cheer you on from here!! How about this?? You start eating better and sticking to your running app and I'll get you something pretty from IMATS :)
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