Sick of Being Sick

I will tell you what.  This, hands down, has been my worst end of year yet.  Fitness wise, health wise.  I for some reason keep getting sick.  I have been doing my best keeping up with fitness which I WAS doing decently until this week!

This weekend I have been MISERABLE!  Fevers, coughing, losing my voice, sinus infection.  It never ends!

I am literally SICK of being sick.  I am doing some healthy smoothies, taking my amazing vitamins.  All I have done this weekend has been lay on the couch and sleep.  I have changed over some laundry though LoL.

My body is sore and tired and weak.  Lots of water for me!

My next blog post will be #100!  I want it to be something big and special if I can.  We shall see :) 

Sorry that I haven't been around much.  I am trying to keep everything all in line and together!

~ <3 ~
Me

Love - Hate Relationships and Feeling Disappointed

 I have a love-hate relationship with THAT GUY right there......Maybe it's a girl because she is a real bitch!  I told my trainer that I needed a break from the 6 mile elliptical training I do Wednesdays.  I say "What is something you would recommend?".  You think I would know better than to ask because he says "The hardest thing....stair machine!  Would I say anything different?" 

I am so exchausted!  I did 20 minutes today on a level 5 and thought i was going to DIE!  I was dripping sweat and my heart rate was at race pace MOST of the time!  It was an amazing work out!  I am beat and couldn't believe that I burned more calories in 20 minutes than in over an hour on the elliptical.  WOW!

I feel bad for my trainer....I am still in such a weird place right now.  Something doesn't feel right in my body.  I am going to see my OB tomorrow and check for any hormone changes because I am having AWFUL mood swings.  Both my Mom and her Mom started into menopause at a VERY young age, so I want to make sure my body isn't goin crazy!!

OH!  There is my heart rate chart from my monitor that I wore while on the step machine.....that thing is the debil :)

Ok, off topic but here we go.  SO I always see these amazing progress photos from Tommy's other clients and they are AMAZING!  Like just 3 months have gone by and they are so toned and have this muscle definition.  It's INSANE!

I feel like I.....not that I make him look bad, because if I am not doing what he tells me to do, then that is my fault and it makes ME look bad.  But I feel like I am totally disappointing him because I have no visual progress (at least I feel like I can't see it).  I want change!  I want that healthy life and amazing body to go with it! 

WHAT THE HELL IS MY PROBLEM!  I deserve it!  I want it!  I need it!  Why am I sabotaging myself....why can't I just do it already!????

I am so frustrated and disappointed.  I am maintaining my weight loss and am proud of what I have accomplished so far but......seriously.......ugggghhhhh........I am just angry and frustrated and aggravated and mad and.......exhausted.  Just exhausted :(

~ <3 ~
Me