I am so exchausted! I did 20 minutes today on a level 5 and thought i was going to DIE! I was dripping sweat and my heart rate was at race pace MOST of the time! It was an amazing work out! I am beat and couldn't believe that I burned more calories in 20 minutes than in over an hour on the elliptical. WOW!
I feel bad for my trainer....I am still in such a weird place right now. Something doesn't feel right in my body. I am going to see my OB tomorrow and check for any hormone changes because I am having AWFUL mood swings. Both my Mom and her Mom started into menopause at a VERY young age, so I want to make sure my body isn't goin crazy!!
OH! There is my heart rate chart from my monitor that I wore while on the step machine.....that thing is the debil :)
Ok, off topic but here we go. SO I always see these amazing progress photos from Tommy's other clients and they are AMAZING! Like just 3 months have gone by and they are so toned and have this muscle definition. It's INSANE!
I feel like I.....not that I make him look bad, because if I am not doing what he tells me to do, then that is my fault and it makes ME look bad. But I feel like I am totally disappointing him because I have no visual progress (at least I feel like I can't see it). I want change! I want that healthy life and amazing body to go with it!
WHAT THE HELL IS MY PROBLEM! I deserve it! I want it! I need it! Why am I sabotaging myself....why can't I just do it already!????
I am so frustrated and disappointed. I am maintaining my weight loss and am proud of what I have accomplished so far but......seriously.......ugggghhhhh........I am just angry and frustrated and aggravated and mad and.......exhausted. Just exhausted :(
~ <3 ~
Me
